“Bodily functions”? Seriously?! I think Linda’s running some sort of social experiment with her stream of consciousness prompt to see how many public bathroom responses she gets because let’s be real, that’s an endless source of entertainment.

Can I get a holla from all the mamas who’ve had a preschooler run commentary in a stall at Target? Bless.

But as for me, I’d like to spend some time talking about eyeballs. Because until I became a mom this particular part of the human anatomy seemed pretty straightforward. Tears = nature’s gift, amiright?

Now I’m not talking ugly cry, snuffly sobbing tears. Just, you know…that watery stuff that leaks from your eyes. Tears really are the ultimate parenting solution.

“He poked my eye!”  “Close them, that’ll make it feel better.”

“A bug flew in it!”  “Close your eyes and it’ll water out.”

“My eyes! They burn.”  “Oh, you’re just tired. Close your eyes and let them rest.”

Awesome, right?

Tears were pretty much the answer to any problem growing up so naturally it’s been my go-to with my own kids. Until I realized some stuff can’t get watered away.

Not the gnat. The gnat can still get watered away.

But when that awful goopy stuff shows up in the corner of their eyes? Yikes. That almost always meant a trip to the pediatrician followed by 8-10 days of battling over medicated eyedrops. Good times.

And because we lived in North Carolina – or, as I like to call it, “The Pollen Is The Devil’s Plaything State” – I’ve got one whose eye gets goopy when the allergen levels are particularly severe. Not that gee, it’s a little irritated thing either; it’s the sort of eye that earns me a call from school because teachers are convinced it’s pink eye. Cue more stinging eyedrops. Good times.

So there you have it, today’s stream of consciousness post on – drumroll, please – eyeball discharge. Wonder where that falls in Linda’s social experiment.

[there’s usually a cute little pic here. my wifi hates me today. maybe I’ll put it in later. the end.]

Linda’s stream of consciousness prompt drives our Saturday fun. This week’s prompt is “bodily function. Decide on one or write about a whole bunch of bodily functions.”