I might not adult like a boss. Or parent like a boss. Or even sleep like a boss. But dammit, I can talk a good game. Here we go.
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Because some Saturdays I kick it like a boss.
Pancakes, bacon, and turkey sausage with cut up fruit for breakfast. Turkey burgers with corn on the cob for dinner. What does my delightful kid ask? “What’s up with the cooking today, mom?”
Oh, I don’t know, kiddo. Just got a hair out of place, I suppose. Tomorrow we’ll go back to frozen waffles.
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Because sometimes the answer is get the hell out of my face.
Child #1 has friends over all day. We make them lunch, we keep them warm, then he decides to give me shit when I don’t drop dinner and tackle the dog so she won’t eat the cookies he left on the floor. Child, get out of my sight.
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Because apparently pastry isn’t always pastry.
We whipped up some Italian pancakes for a bunch of kids – easy peasy yummy deliciousness, that’s a win in my book. Right up to the super confusing moment when one kid announced he doesn’t do eggs. Wait, what? It’s a pastry. You sprinkle powdered sugar and lemon crystals on it. Yes, it’s got eggs, it’s got flour and eggs, that’s the base of every pastry out there. Are you telling me you don’t eat pancakes? Or waffles? Or doughnuts either? So.very.confused.
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Because tough love usually means getting real.
“Dude. You go out into the world thinking it’s all about you, you’re selfish. You go out not helping others, you’re lazy. Either way people will think you’re an a-hole and that’s on you.”
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Because we don’t negotiate with terrorists.
The deal has been the same for years: we go someplace fun, we have a great time, we leave with a minimum of fuss when we need to, and we get to go again. This was standing policy for the park, the children’s museum, the mall, the Chic-Fil-A playplace…anywhere the kids liked to go, these were the rules. Period.
So I have to say it makes me a little crazy to hear people repeatedly warning their littles, “If you don’t stop beating your sister we’re gonna have to leave.” FOR REAL, folks, YOU’VE GOT TO LEAVE IF THEY DON’T STOP. We don’t negotiate with terrorists. Even ones with adorable dimples.
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So funny, but not in the moment. Lots of WHAT!!? here. That egg thing — is it allergy or just aversion to things I think I might taste the egg in? What IS that? Cake? Cookies? BREAD? I think not.
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Because if you think I’m giving up an entire bakery because there’s an EGG in there…😂😂😂
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I know, right?!?
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Maybe the egg kid was allergic? But, yeah, there was a lot of, “Oh, you’re whining and/or throwing a fit? Has that ever worked with me? No? Then how about not doing it? That’s better.”
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We speculated but it was after a sleepover and I sure hope his mom would have mentioned an allergy. 😳
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it took a long time, but eventually each of my 3 daughters began to understand why i did and said what i did. a long time.
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Yep, we’re playing the long game. Maybe when they’re 30?
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Or so –
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I don’t do eggs! Kids crack me up these days. When I was little we weren’t allowed to leave the table unless the plate was empty 😊. Lol …. abuse!
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Totally killed me. I can’t imagine what my face must have looked like as I stood there, blinking, trying to figure out what on earth he & my husband were trying to say BECAUSE I HADN’T MADE EGGS!! Bwahahaha!
Kid ended up happy as a clam with cereal. Whatever.
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🙃🤣🤣
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I like the “tough love” comment. I heard a version of that while growing up. It was the ‘a-hole’ part that triggered the memory.
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I didn’t hear it growing up but did from another parent this year. It sure stuck with me & was what that kid needed to hear in the moment. Fingers crossed…
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Sooner or later (we) they realize you care.
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That was supposed to be “you do it because you care”
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Agreed. I look back and see what my parents did because they cared. I see it NOW — at the time they were dictators. 😆
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