I made a big ass pan of Brussel sprouts and told my kids to suck it up. It’s what’s for dinner.

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“Your lack of planning does not constitute an emergency for me” is a real world answer in our house. Also “sounds like a personal problem to me” because Truth.

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I shoved everyone on board this health food train because I shop/cook/clean up so The End.

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Is it bacon? I don’t even know how to answer that anymore, it’s turkey bacon.

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“And?” works.

Bear always gets shotgun! Gracie stole my snack! But I don’t wanna go to the store!  “And?”

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I’ve been known to say, “Sorry, I’m out.” after 8:00pm.

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You say hunger strike, I say nobody ever died from skipping a meal. You’ll be hungry for breakfast. Love ya, mean it.

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You know, we just don’t believe in using the word no, it breaks a child’s spirit.

I’m sorry, what? I couldn’t hear you over my kid’s cries of despair because I won’t take her shoe shopping tomorrow.