Unavoidable observations of a dog sprawled across my lap, writing be damned.
1. These blond eyelashes crack.me.up. And they’re two-toned – some caramel colored, others yellowish white – so she’s looking pretty fetching. (You see what I did there? Huh?)
2. Her paws smell like Fritos. Crusty, salty, sitting-around-in-the-hot-sun Fritos.
3. Her breath is trash. I don’t know what crawled up in there and died but damn, dog.
4. It’s hard to get any writing done when I’m constantly stopping to run my fingers down her impossibly silky ears. Sooooo soooofffffttttt.
5. It’s like the tail version of Red Light, Green Light over here. Look at the dog – THUMP THUMP THUMP. Look away – quiet. Look at the dog – THUMP THUMP THUMP. Look away – oh so quiet.
6. How does she drop off to sleep like that? Here one minute, eyeing my keyboard, gone the next like a ton of bricks dropping off a rooftop.
7. These paws are paddling away like she’s running the 100 meter dash. Wonder what would happen if I tossed a hurdle in there.
8. And there goes the mysterious sleep fart. It never fails – head whips up, nostrils flare, tip of tail flicks with a “who dares to make that noise around me??” air.
9. You, Phoebe. You dare to make that noise around you. And us. And anyone else in the vicinity. And that smell is trash.
10. It must be nice, living your life secure in the fact that the world revolves around you. Time to eat, time to sleep, time to get some snuggles…geez, human, what else have you got to do?