1. Paper towels.
Because when water spills everywhere and I’ve dropped the F bomb for the room at large it helps to get the H²O off my hardwoods as fast as possible.
2. Flour sifter.
Despite years of Amish determination – what? pay for a doohickey when I can just as easily sift BY HAND? – I broke down and bought one. And dammit, it does make my baked goods fluffier.
3. Pizza cutter.
You wouldn’t think this thing would be that big a deal. Just cut the pizza, man, whatever. But when there are hungry peeps underfoot whining for food being able to zip-zip-zip and BAM, slices on a plate – that’s the difference between muttering profanities and stuffing those whining yaps with gooey goodness. We own two.
4. Wipeable placemats.
Because few things get my goat like sticky stuff spilled at a meal so not only have I taken the time to make dinner but now I’ve got to run a load of laundry, too. Thanks a lot, Aunt Jemima.
5. A gas stovetop.
Okay, this one’s no joke. Because even if the power goes out – and come on, that sucks the big one – we can still cook stuff. Yes, the choices are limited, but it’s better than cold Vienna sausages out of a can.
6. Great storage.
Have you ever heard anyone say, “Gee, this kitchen’s got way too much storage space”? No? I rest my case.
7. Extra buttery microwave popcorn.
Warm, salty, buttery deliciousness? Yes, please.
8. The stovetop exhaust fan.
Because every once in a while things go a wee bit wrong in the kitchen. Salmon takes a little too long to saute, the broiler gets overenthusiastic, whatever the case may be. Suddenly the room’s smoggy and all that stands between me and that godawful high pitched smoke alarm is this blessed hood fan.
9. Really good nonstick pans.
Did you know there are pans you can actually cook eggs in without them sticking? I mean, sure, the pans are called nonstick but saying is one thing and doing is quite another.
10. Amazon Echo
Seriously, nothing passes the time like Alexa. Checking the headlines and weather first thing in the morning. Streaming NPR and CNN. Rocking out to the Beatles and Imagine Dragons stations. So Much Goodness and all of it hands free. Whoop! Whoop!