“I am not one of these people who take Pinterest quizzes. I am not new-agey. I don’t like a whole bunch of fuss. I’m not sentimental. I don’t have a spirit animal. I am the most pragmatic person I know. Ironically, I would never read a post called “Why You Should Have a Life Philosophy.”
The whole idea summons images of inspirational print art, t-shirts claiming my heritage as a mermaid or unicorn, and Tony Robbins… then they get all blurred together as a mental picture of Tony Robbins having sex with a mermaid with a scrawly script above it that says “Everyday is a good day when you’re fucking a mermaid!” “
“I’m not sure if this is a universal thing, or if it’s just my inbox that has been invaded by people who have no regard for my time. I’ve gotten used to survey requests after every leg of every flight and train ride. I’ve gotten used to Amazon and other online retailers pestering me to review books and products, including those I purchased as gifts. I’ve even gotten used to so-called research surveys.
You should know that “gotten used to” is code for “I’m comfortable ignoring.” “
“Our culture’s view of domestic abuse lacks imagination.
A quick Google image search for the term shows image after image in the same composition: sad, broken-looking women with bruised faces and smeared mascara. There’s often a menacing figure looming somewhere in the foreground or background. A hand—either her own, or the abuser’s—covers their mouths, preventing them from speaking.
These images are certainly evocative. They’ve been burned into our cultural brain by many years of prevention campaigns…
But I don’t know how helpful these kinds of images are. There are a lot of people who are in abusive relationships and genuinely don’t know it. When there’s such a codified cultural idea of what an abuse victim looks like and you don’t look like her, it makes it easier to silence your own suspicions that there’s something very wrong in your relationship.”
“I’ve made no secret of my driving pet peeves.
But one of the things I find most difficult about operating a motor vehicle is the car wash. In fact, at times I find it down right scary.
It starts with the Herculean task of lining my driver’s side wheels up with the tiny track line that leads into the car wash cave. I carefully watch the attendant for direction—he waves me a little to the left, to the right, no! no! back to the left!—before I finally receive his seal of approval, a raising of his hand and a stern nod of his head.”
“Readers like to send me links to blogs or articles they think I might feel strongly about. This week I received a link to a blog called Biblical Gender Roles. I didn’t even have to click the link before I felt “strongly.”
But I took a deep breath and decided not to judge the blog by its title. After all, I’m always irritated when people scoff, “People I Want to Punch in the Throat? That sounds so violent!” I didn’t want to instantly assume that this blog was written by a homophobic dude with control issues and a God-given desire to dominate the inferior females in his home. That would be wrong of me. I needed to read his writings first before I decided what to think of him.
And then I saw the title of the blog post: 8 Steps to Confront Your Wife’s Sexual Refusal.
Fuck that guy. I already hate him.”