We can do hard things. Let’s talk.
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People are people. I don’t see race.
Popular variations on this: I don’t see color, I see people. We’re all one race – the human race. We all bleed red.
Come on, Laura, what’s wrong with this? I thought we wanted a post-racial America. Are you saying we don’t want a world where people are judged by their character instead of the color of their skin?
Okay. Full disclosure: I used to subscribe to this philosophy. I don’t think I ever used this particular phrase but the concept was the same. Then the kids came along and everything changed.
But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Here’s what folks mean when they say “I don’t see race.”
- I don’t see a skin color when I look at you.
- I don’t judge you based on your skin color.
- I don’t clump people together based on their skin color.
- Therefore I can’t ever be racist.
In the end, “I don’t see race” has a lot more to do with asserting our wokeness than describing a reality. Now for a few thoughts on the matter.
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You unquestionably can see skin color. It is literally impossible not to see it. Insisting that you and you alone are impervious to both the laws of nature and the social conditioning of our society is arrogant and, frankly, weakens your credibility.
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It’s human nature to make judgements based on appearance. Shoot, it’s the reason that snooty saleslady wouldn’t help Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman and, movie or not, I think we can all agree that was true to life. Admitting you’re friendlier towards a well-dressed person than a scruffy one is simply more palatable than saying you’ll sit at the table with the white people. The reality is we judge based on skin color, too. Yes, even you.
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Saying you don’t see color dismisses the experience of people of color. It’s saying to someone, “You say this is your identity, but we’re all human. My experience trumps yours. Get on board.” The reality is all humans are not the same; our lives and perspectives are shaped by our unique culture, education, upbringing, beliefs, and yes, skin color.
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Note to self: just because my skin color doesn’t matter to me on a conscious level it doesn’t mean someone else’s skin color isn’t important to them. Empathy, people.
The Small Bites series is a way for us to break down a really hard conversation into manageable pieces. I hope you come into this space willing to read with an open mind. That being said, I know now what I didn’t know in my twenties and thirties, but I don’t yet know what I don’t yet know. Ya know? I love hearing your stories and perspectives in the comments. Thank you for being willing to share.
You can find previous posts by going to the “Let’s talk about” search field and selecting small bites.
I learned a lot from this post while writing my own. I highly recommend it.
“No, Being Colorblind Does Not Help Racism” by OnlyBlackGirl: Musings of a Transracial Adoptee
Riddle from the Middle 
Good insight.
I do see color, like anything else, but I look beyond it, cause people. People are much more interesting than their shades, after all.
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They are indeed.
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I went through a phase of seeing people as people and not taking their color into account. Then I lost a relationship that I had thought was friendly by behaving to a poc friend in a way I would have behaved with another white girl. SHE definitely WAS sensitive to our colors, and considered my behavior insulting and oppressive. It’s kinda like how you can insult a friend and they know you’re playing but if you’re not as good friends as you thought, it hurts their feelings? We never were able to get over that. She never forgave me, and I was afraid I’d make another disastrous misstep. I’m still ashamed that I hurt her because I was insensitive. Yeah, now I see color. NOT seeing color is a white privilege.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s one of the best explanations I’ve seen yet for how white privilege invades a relationship with a person of color. 💛
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Of course we notice differences in people, whether it’s what they wear, their personality, if they are smiling or frowning, and yes their skin color. It sure would be a boring place if we all lived in a Stepford type world. If someones I encounter is nice, then I probably like them, and if they are mean or nasty in their actions, then I’d avoid them.
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This is so logical to me that I’m perplexed when people dig in with “yes, but I don’t SEE color.” I think we’ve done a good job convincing people that even admitting we see color is *bad* and that really sets us back.
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I automatically dismiss the “I don’t see color” crowd because they inherently think everyone’s racial experiences are the same. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
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Yes. I hear it a lot from people who’ve marched & think they’ve done their work.
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Right! And go right back to being unaffected and totally oblivious to it.
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Nice
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Thank you.
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People will never not notice other people’s differences, whether it be skin color, culture, economic status, etc. The trick is to respond to others fairly despite those differences. I admit that sometimes that’s not very easy.
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Absolutely. I think knowing it’s not easy is a good step for all of us.
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My two cents…I think there is underlying fear in each human that notice differences in others, “what do I do when I encounter someone that looks different than what I see every day in the mirror?” I know me, but I don’t know you, that can be scary, so now what…to I take a risk to find out?
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Exactly. We’re comfortable in our own skin & everything around us reinforces that. It’s hard work to take the risk.
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