“Well, here we are, folks. It’s Halloween season. My kids are at peak age—old enough to have very strong opinions about what they want to dress up as and feel they need to compete with their peers, but not old enough to have their own J.O.B.s so they can pay for their own shit. For example, my daughter came across a cute Hermione costume online that she loved. It was 80 bucks. EIGHTY DOLLARS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME, CHILD.”

How To Give Our Kids An Old School ’80s Halloween: Scary Mommy