1.  Frost. There is frost on the ground. F-r-o-s-t. Of course it was also 70 degrees two days last week so basically North Carolina’s acting like I do once a month. “Potato chips. No, brownies. Definitely brownies, I’m craving sweet. But wait, don’t we have Doritos? Yeah, I’ll do Doritos. Unless there’s ice cream to go with the brownie.” Can we just pick a season please?

2.  The universe delivered a giant middle finger on Thursday when the Swedish Fish I treated myself to – mmmm, Swedish Fish – pulled a crown out of my mouth. Why can’t I have nice things, universe? WHYYYYY?

3.  Listen, I’m the first to admit I’m not the best patient. My mouth’s too small and a host of other issues make putting up with dental work challenging. And the Friday fix was painful. Still, I think I kind of freaked the dental assistant out when I lost it in their office. Stress, man. It’s a B.

4.  Which means you didn’t have to be a fly on our wall to hear my riotous cussing when a piece of pizza pulled that very same crown out on Saturday. Any stranger wandering by would have heard the ruckus. Especially because I wasn’t as lucky that time and heard a crunch. I can’t write about this anymore lest this post dissolve into a string of obscenity worthy of a five minute bleep.

5.  Middle school. Gah. I am hardcore too old for this shit.

6.  Finally got around to watching Designated Survivor. Only a couple of episodes in but so far so good – gotta love some Kiefer Sutherland, am I right?

7.  And that chick from The Truman Show. With the huge eyes and lashes for days. She’s on here, too.

8.  Gracie’s on a real kick for fireplace rocks right now. She keeps shoving her big old snout past the hanging chain gate, snuffling a couple up off the grate, then carrying them out and chomping away. I don’t mean to sound callous but damn, dog, I just wanna drink my coffee in peace.

9.  I swear, Mia is like Mission Impossible cat. I was sitting on the floor last night. Phoebe was sitting up tall facing me, getting her loves, when all of a sudden a tiny ball of fur flew over my shoulder and things went all slo-mo.

Whap whap whap whap whap whap WHOMP!

Okay, for that to work you have to picture Mia soaring over my shoulder on a downward slope toward Phoebe then, just as she slides past, reaching out a paw to swat Phoebe’s snout.

Whap whap whap whap whap whap WHOMP!

Seriously. Too funny.

10.  This time change is killing me. Dark at 5:30pm. By 7:00pm it feels like I’m an hour past bedtime. Welcome to winter hours…