Remember those PSAs from the ’80s? The announcer guy would ominously intone, “It’s 10:00. Do you know where your children are?” in a voice dripping with disapproval if your child wasn’t literally in your line of sight at that very moment. No pressure. But you know, some pressure, because they could die. Or something. It’s 10:00.

Well, it’s New Year’s Eve. Do you know where your children are?

We have a dinner scheduled so I can safely predict that yes, for at least the first few hours of New Year’s Eve I will actually be able to lay eyes on my children. Probably way far across the room, hiding from their embarrassing parents, praying fervently I don’t break into the Wobble as I wave wildly for Bear to join me on the dance floor…

Hmmm…

It’s weird to think that we’re coming up on a time when the answer to this will be no. I mean, of course I’ll know where my children tell me they are and I’ve got mad parenting skillz to help me suss out deviations but come on, do any of us really know where our children are at any given moment? The truth is I can be staring at their body right in front of me and they can STILL be a million miles away with no return date in sight. Alas.

Now’s your chance. The last night of 2018. These are the very last minutes of the very last hours of this insanely long year and THIS IS YOUR TIME. Got a tattoo you’ve been considering? A piercing or weird hair color? Want to hide in the movies all by yourself with a giant tub of popcorn? Get drunk and sing karaoke at the local bar? You can do these things. “New Year’s Eve” covers a multitude of sins, big and small. It’s the “Billy stayed home from school because he had a fever” excuse for grownups. Nobody questions “It was New Year’s” as an explanation. Nobody.

So get on out there and shake yer tail feather, girl. And boy. Finish up 2018 with a bang.

♥ I hope 2018 brought you peace surpassing your pain, and that 2019 opens your heart to a world of possibilities. ♥