1. Not everybody can peel a banana. Who knew.
2. “Coarse sugar” roughly translates to chunky sugar sprinkles.
3. They are delightful on muffins.
4. Doesn’t matter how many experts recommend it as a pantry staple, I’ve never actually used a jar of sun dried tomatoes. Bought them, yes. Used them, no.
5. Ditto for artichoke hearts.
6. Real butter makes all the difference.
7. Scrambling an egg and microwaving turkey sausage takes, at most, 180 seconds longer than setting up a bowl of cereal. Put in the three minutes.
8. Coffee with sugar and cream increases serotonin levels.
9. Said coffee in the right mug can turn my whole morning around.
10. Writing while a dog lies across my foot is particularly fulfilling.
11. Ditto for the kitty stretched out in her pillow on the kitchen table.
12. Dogs like shoulder rubs, too.
13. Sometimes just as much as belly rubs.
14. I didn’t think there was a difference between sock brands. I was wrong.
15. Ditto for bras.
16. Well made shoes take care of your feet. Spend the money.
17. There’s a lot to be said for yoga pants.
18. I like a moscato. No, it doesn’t matter what we’re eating.
19. Doritos are gluten free, praise be.
20. But moscato and Doritos don’t mix. I learned that the hard way.
21. Pizza and moscato? Now those mix.
22. It’s okay to say I’ll never watch another movie by a certain director again. (I’m talking to you, Quentin Tarantino.)
23. At forty-eight I can say with 100% certainty I can’t stomach that level of blood.
24. I also can’t stomach mussels, open sewage, standing on a rope bridge a thousand miles up, and violent air turbulence.
25. No one will tackle you if you go to the bathroom, even if the fasten seatbelt light is illuminated.
26. Sometimes there really, truly is no other choice.
27. Because given the choice between peeing my pants or enduring a flight attendant’s wrath, I’ll take the wrath.
28. I can fold a fitted sheet well.
29. And I feel absolutely no need to iron sheets.
30. Ditto for jeans.
31. I base 94% of clothing purchase decisions on care instructions.
32. I believe in at home dry cleaning with Dryel™ for the 2% of dry clean only clothes I own.
33. Except fancy dresses. Those go to the professionals.
34. I’m a believer in paying for expertise.
35. Seahorses kind of freak me out. Thinking about them bobbing around upright in the water like some sort of aquatic merry go round – it’s just weird.
36. Robes work better in theory. They’re either too short, too long, knotted in a weird place, or the top unexpectedly flops open while you’re having breakfast.
37. Highlighter swept along the top of the cheekbone, below the brow bone, and at the inner corner of my eye really does make me look more alert.
38. I’ve reached that awkward age where my eyebrows have thinned, leaving me with two options. A) Embrace eyebrow pencil, or B) feel like my eyeballs float weirdly around an abnormally large forehead.
39. I feel naked if I leave the house without eyebrow pencil and mascara.
40. I look zombielike if I leave the house without concealer.
41. YouTube is filled with all manner of moronic stunt videos, but it also stores a treasure trove of How To tutorials. Like how to do basic makeup when you’ve made do your whole life with only a CoverGirl compact.
42. I’ve yet to see someone who wears a bandana well.
43. Ditto for platform sneakers.
44. I enjoy asparagus but not enough to endure post-asparagus pee.
45. After five years I can change the water filter on our fridge without looking at the directions.
46. Farm fresh eggs have thicker shells, darker yolks, and taste better than grocery store eggs. Yes, they cost more. They’re worth it.
47. I will go to my grave still learning things I didn’t know I still needed to learn.
Turning 43 this year and I can relate to so much of this list. Love it, love it!!
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Another 40s compatriot! Love it! Thanks for reading. 🙂
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So enjoyed reading it! Here am same age hence same page!
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Thank you! Some lessons are universal, I guess. A little weird to think what I’ll have learned by 57. 😮
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😃
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I’m not ashamed to admit #21 was Monday’s dinner choice (superb) & #44 I very recently tried to explain to a friend who’s never eaten asparagus (and now probably never will).
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One must never be ashamed of pizza and moscato. Never I say!! 😆
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I can relate to every thing on your list …..some more than others! 🤣
Thanks for the laugh this morning 🤣🤣
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So very glad you dropped by to enjoy it. 🙂
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Oddly familiar.Loved it
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The thing that I related to most was the bedsheet ironing
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Right?? I didn’t even know that was a thing until a few years ago!
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I was hearing it for the first time in your blog.Funny!
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It really is. I’m beyond shocked that I actually know someone IN REAL LIFE who’s done this. Shocked.
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haha.Right
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These are brill! Best thing I’ve read today!
My husband thinks I am cute in aqua bandana in summer when I am the color of ham and have patchy sweaty eyebrows. My husband is a good man.
I tell you, highlighter on top of my cheekbone, eyebrow pencil (in blonde, wtf, truly?) and you know what my other one is? SPARKLY eyeliner on my waterline! Gold, soft pink, nude, other nude — I swear by it. I am also sad to say I’ve reached a place in life where I do usually look better in makeup. I am conflicted about it.
Riesling.
Bali.
Jarred artichoke hearts in cold pasta salad or wrapped in bacon and baked.
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Lawd, put that way I ought to run back out & buy artichoke hearts again. But really isn’t everything better when it’s wrapped in bacon & baked?
I’ve had a delightful riesling. I’ve also had a terrible one when I ordered it in a restaurant not knowing they come in varying degrees of sweet. I am not a wine knower.
And I, too, look much better in makeup than without now. People tend to ask if I’m feeling okay if I don’t have any on and that’ll bum a girl out after a while…
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I know. It’s sad stuff.
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I happen to think I ROCK a bandana. Maybe I’m the one they made those for? I had cancer removed from my scalp one summer and because the thought of all those people staring at the seeping wound on my scalp made me want to hurl, I put on a cute stars & stripes heart bandana I had and wore it to a ‘must attend’ ‘do my niece was giving. Everyone said it was cute, although one older fellow muttered something about over the hill biker chicks… hee hee.
Sun dried tomatoes? Ew. I don’t ‘get’ those, although pickled artichoke hearts are delicious. Next time, open the jar. You might enjoy it!
Bananas have been modified or have morphed somehow. I COULD peel a banana, now I practically have to tear them open with surgical scissors and a machete. Something happened to them….just sayin.
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“over the hill biker chicks” — bwahahaha!!!
And I do actually agree with you about the bananas. Something about the stem (is that what you call it?) has gotten tougher and more rubbery so it bends all weird instead of snapping. My son finally gave up trying altogether and just hands his over to me — and he’s 14!
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I take a knife and saw part way through the stem. Then you can usually peel the thing as normal. But no more breaking the stem with bare hands…I have to wonder how they even get ’em off the tree!!!
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14. I am still searching – socks are one of the things on my list of the search for the perfect ones – which ones are perfect for you?
17. Leggings do it for me – with tunics, because – stomach.
18. Too sweet. Chardonnay or maybe Pinot Grigio
22. Yep. For sure. After Pulp Fiction, no more.
24. Ironing? Hate it. Avoid when I can.
38. After chemo, my already thin eyebrows were nearly non-existent. Tattooing did it for me, giving such a sense of freedom!
42. Tried bandanas when I had chemo. Did not work.
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Bought myself Bombas for Christmas (I know, exciting, right?) and they are AWESOME. Socks have been too tight around my calves or have a scratchy toe seam or (fill in some other weird irk). These are like a hug for my feet. 🙂
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I’ve been seeing them advertised and wondered. The toe seam usually gets me. Maybe it’s time to check them out. Thank you.
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It was a gamble. I figured it was worth a try when I heard the one-for-one campaign where they donate a pair to a shelter for each one you buy.
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They are very pricey, but yes, that made it better.
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Great list! I could comment on most, but I’ll leave you with three. I was going to stop at two, but…
Sun dried tomatoes used often here in pasta in the summer. I don’t really like them, but they are good in pasta. Angle hair and sun-dried tomatoes all day.
Carry over from prior marriage – artichoke hearts and mayonaise makes a very simple, delicious, unhealthy dip for veggies. Gauranteed to remove the health from a carrot stick.
Total agreement on “real butter”
Our daugher wears a bandana well. I’m not just saying that cuz she’s our kid.
Yes, I now realize it was four.
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“guaranteed to remove the health from a carrot stick” – bwahahahaha!!! Heaven forbid we leave the healthy in.
Does your daughter wear that bandana non ironically? It only seems to make sense to me in children’s costumes – grownups wearing them always makes me think they’ve wandered into our state by mistake.
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It’s hard for me to say, since I don’t see her all the time. I would point out that, as a potential candidate for grownup, I’m wearing one in my gravatar photo.
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Ah, this is true. And you seem pretty normal.
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Bwaaahaha, my plan is working.
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28. I can fold a fitted sheet well. You got mad skillz and I am in awe.
34. I’m a believer in paying for expertise. Me too. So much me too.
42. I’ve yet to see someone who wears a bandana well. Amen, sister. Why do they even exist?
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Full disclosure: I do not have mad skillz naturally. I have a friend who’s a therapeutic massage therapist and has folded six billion sheets in her career. I do credit myself for paying attention well when she showed me how to do it. 😉
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These are great, Number 45 never done, must do. 42 will bin mine. 28 jealous. 19 that’s a size up in clothes required now, 10 unless he is eating a bone then it’s just annoying. Brilliant post.
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Ack! The bone chomping! How do they know exactly when I’m trying to sort out the finishing touches on a post?? It’s like clockwork…
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A very comprehensive list. We live and learn. Part of living. 😉👍
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Something new every day, am I right?
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If we are trying. Otherwise maybe once a week!
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