Chores weren’t exactly a treasured part of childhood, but some were more despised than others. Dusting – not a fan. Cleaning bathrooms – not so much. But cleaning out the litter box? Now that was a particularly unpleasant job. It was stinky. And messy. And kind of gross. It was the penance we served for having Cat running about, but he was worth it. Mostly. More now that I’m a grownup looking back than as a nine-year-old pinching her nose.
So imagine my surprise to find that science had worked it’s magic on kitty litter over these last thirty years or so. I’m not sure why I thought time stood still but for some reason it never occurred to me that there might be a noticeable difference in Mia’s litter box – I mean, cat litter is cat litter. It sits in the box so your cat can pee or poop, what more is there to say than that?
Turns out a whole heck of a lot.
When we launched our Mia adventure I did a lot of research – what’s a good diet, feeding schedules, introducing cats to dogs, and yes, choosing a kitty litter. I’m old. I’m picky. Cat litter used to just be something to catch cat discards, but now? Now I have a vested interest in finding a litter that makes a creature using the bathroom inside our home slightly less…gross.
A girl can dream.
So after extensive research (God bless Google) I found a brand that claimed to be hypoallergenic, non-tracking, nearly dust free, clumping litter with superior odor control. Yeah, right, and then unicorns farting rainbows prance through the house. Except then the cat litter went and delivered. Except the unicorns. Still no unicorns. But this stuff really does bring the magic.
Yeah, okay, I’ll spill. It’s Dr. Elsey’s Ultra Premium Clumping Cat Litter. (You good folks at D.E.U.P.C.C.L. should feel free to shoot a couple coupons my way if you’re so inclined.)
There’s a tradeoff for the magic, though. This litter somehow defies the laws of science – a forty pound bag packs a density weighing something more like sixty pounds of dead weight which makes lugging it from your car trunk into the garage an experience eerily similar to hauling your blitzed college roommate off the corner of your comforter. Except now I’m old and can throw my back out doing this kind of sh*t. The density somehow increases, too, when cat pee hits this stuff. The granules clump together and a clay component suctions it all together until you’ve got a rock hard sphere that could put somebody’s eye out if hurled at just the right angle.
Still, all in all, it’s not out of the realm to use adjectives like magical and miraculous to describe this stuff.
And for any new readers who happened by today: Welcome to my forties. I’m excited about cat litter now.
Linda hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week’s prompt is “the last piece of mail you received.” Talk about the subject of the last piece of physical mail you received, i.e. a gas bill – talk about gas, not the bill itself. Have fun!”