So there’s been some pushback, sometimes on the blog, sometimes on twitter. I don’t catch it on Facebook, probably because I’m one of those weirdos who has friends from real life there, and I find people tread more carefully with what they say to me when there’s potential for run ins afterward. Well, except for that one acquaintance who posted Muslims are taking over public office across the country and we’d better watch out – I unfriended that mess ‘cuz nobody’s got the bandwidth for next level crazy.
Anyway, the pushback falls somewhere along the lines of “I’m sick and tired of white people getting blamed for everything. Black people are racist, too!”
White people getting blamed. For being racist. You gotta admit, it takes balls of steel to complain that white people – the ones who dropped onto North America, displaced Native Americans using everything from balance of power to violence, and enslaved an entire race of people to build and fortify this great country – are getting a raw deal. Yeah, tell me again that whites are the aggrieved party.
“It’s not like all white people are the same. I’m IRISH, for God’s sake. They were slaves, too.”
We’ve been taught “white” isn’t a race. That instead of a collective identity as those white folks we’re a delightful array of quirky individuals – Irish, German, French, athletic, intellectual, creative, old, young, and everything in between. If I bounce a check, I made a mistake. But if a black woman bounces a check? It’s “They’re always trying to scam the system, I told you we shouldn’t take personal checks anymore, Becky.”
“That black cashier didn’t even ask if I was ready. She was racist to me.”
First of all, white people have for real got to stop whining about someone being mean to them. A) You’re not five. B) Being mean and being racist aren’t the same thing. C) This right here is the fallout of so many white people being shitty to people of color. You stop attending PTO meetings because the group seems cliquey, but you’re surprised black people might be reluctant to engage with people who consistently treat them as less than?
“My cousin/niece/neighbor’s kid didn’t get into college because of damned affirmative action. How is THAT not racist against whites?”
Let’s start with the fact that the incoming students of color might very well have had a more impressive application than your white applicant. Maybe their GPA was higher, their AP scores better, their extracurriculars more well rounded. Maybe they were just a better fit altogether. But by all means, let’s continue to assume that the ONLY thing they have going for them is melanin. Presume much?
“Stop acting like whitey is the only racist in the house!”
Except whitey IS the only racist in the house. Listen. Your black coworker might be prejudiced as hell. He might be convinced whites can’t dance, our potato salad sucks, and it’ll be a cold day in hell before his daughter dates a white boy JUST BECAUSE – but that doesn’t make him racist. Neither does calling you “white”. Okay, maybe he’s prejudiced, but to be racist your black coworker would have to be part of a power structure that can negatively impact your life. And no, being uncomfortable with #wypipo doesn’t count.
I have been on the receiving end of racism. It was very ugly and hurtful. I won’t repeat details but just need to say to everyone. THINK before you spew! God heals all hurt.
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Thank you so much for visiting and sharing your thoughts. I’m sorry you’ve endured this pain. 💛
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This will preach!
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Sorry I missed your comment until now but YES. Now if we could just subliminally pipe it into the brains of folks…
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Perfect. Sadly, the people who most need to understand this probably won’t.
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This is true. And frustrating. So sometimes I call up my sister and rage about that, but then I put my head down and start talking again. Thanks for reading!
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Um, PREACH, girlfriend. Preach. Absolutely spot on.
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Preaching like I need extra dollars in the collection plate! Bless!
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It’s all a question of point of view. As you know I’m one of those in the ‘all racists aren’t white’ camp. And because of being told (repeatedly) that ‘living in the moment’ is superior to living in the past, I can say that I, personally, have only been racist once in my life and it wasn’t toward any black people. It was toward red people. It came about because of my experiences with red people at the foster hell. And they weren’t representative of the whole Native American race(s) either..they were some really misguided youth of that race. I learned better as I got older and got over it. Now I view all people as people … some with faults, some whom I don’t like, some who are just assholes. I don’t expect anyone to agree with my point of view either, come to that. I’ll keep reading your stuff because it gives me a perspective I don’t have. Thanks Laura!
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Thanks for adding your voice, Melanie. I learn more about myself every single day. Used to be I didn’t think I’d ever been racist because I didn’t zero in on a particular race & hate (or particularly dislike) them, but the more I dig into this work the more I realize how much subliminal messaging I picked up and how that influenced my opinion of people. I was raised with the “work hard and you’ll go far” message, and that was true for me. But what did that also teach me about black kids who dropped out of school? Or the fact that so many low level employees were/are black? It implicitly taught me they’re lazy or less intelligent or didn’t try hard enough – nobody talked about the factors influencing those outcomes that had nothing to do with how far their hard work could take them.
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You raise a lot of good points. I have seen real, abject discrimination and racism playing out in front of me, and I have never experienced anything like that. Never.
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Thanks, Dan. Some white people seem to equate acute discomfort from being lumped in by skin color with someone being racist toward them, and it’s just not the case. I’d say “if they could only experience ACTUAL racism they’d know the difference…” but that can’t really happen here.
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I saw some stuff in Georgia, in 1972, that made me really realize the depth of actual racism.
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1972. I’m betting things didn’t exactly fly under the radar then.
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No, bright, bold and truly scary.
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excellent points, all –
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Thank you.
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So so well said. The force is strong with you today.
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🙏🏼
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Perfect!
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Thank you.
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