Frantically I start pawing through my bag. I know it’s in here. It’s GOT to be in here. I have to be out the door in ten minutes, where is it??

My fingers scratch the bottom of the bag, lodging crumbs from an errant Kind bar under my nails while curses roll off my tongue like boulders down a hill. Oh for-the-love-of-all-that’s-holy I JUST NEED TO FIND THAT RECEIPT. Is it even in this purse? Yeah, it’s in this one, this is what I carried on Saturday and OH MY GOD IS THAT THE TIME???

Time to start yanking stuff out and putting it on the table. Wallet, glasses case (so THAT’S where that is), seven pens because of course I have seven pens, lip gloss, lip crayon, another Kind bar blessedly still in its wrapper…where the hell is the receipt??…brown pouch (I wonder if I’ve still got floss in there), keys, more keys, a dental plan from my last visit because it’s TOTALLY fair that the person who flosses twice a day (seriously!) ends up getting a crap report from the dentist and daaaammmmnnnn I’m gonna have to schedule that crown. Chapstick, coin pouch, receipt! Whoops, wrong receipt. Why does my purse weigh 14 pounds? Maybe it’s ‘cuz I have things like the ten math problem cards for group review shoved in the side…

Time to kick that cursing up a notch. Advil, Orajel, eye drops, tissues, the kids’ notes from Mother’s Day (aww, I’ve got a minute to read those again), two mechanical pencils, nail clippers, blotting paper (why do I have these? do I even use these anymore??), phone, some random piece of paper shoved into the corner, a UPS return receipt for that Amazon package, and OH MY GOD IS THAT THE TIME???

Grab purse, flip upside down, and shake furiously as dust motes and purse schmeg drop to the table. That’s it, I’m out, I give up. It’s only once I’m cramming all that crap back into my bag I remember that Target can look up purchases by credit card for returns.


Linda hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week’s prompt is “adverb.” Start your post with any adverb and just run with it. Have fun!