1. I don’t watch Game of Thrones. Yeah. I said it. I can’t get for deported for this, right?
2. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t begrudge you your Sunday night GoT fix. I just have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about when you’re all in the feels about this shit storm of a final season. Sorry not sorry, but this sounds like perfect fodder for a post.
3. Who the hell is Daenerys and what’s up with the madness and murder thing? Not like I have an opinion but people seem pretty up in arms about this particular character.
4. So it turns out there’s an iron throne. Whoops – Iron Throne, capitalized. Where is it? Can anyone sit there? Do you have to fight to win it? Is there a Golden Throne, too?
5. Dragons? Really? My last dragon encounter was with How to Train Your Dragon but I’m pretty sure these are less charming.
6. Speaking of Dany, what the what with that eating the raw horse heart thing? I mean, ewwww. It’s like a Survivor episode from hell during sweeps week.
7. My heart actually hurts for folks locked into this series who miss an episode, flake out, and stumble into social media only to learn their favorite character was beheaded in the episode waiting on their dvr. If that’s not enough to drive you postal, I don’t know what is.
8. Listen, I just caught the briefest description on an NPR story but all it took was hearing “graphic” and “castration” for me to know that this show is NOWHERE on my watchlist.
9. Is it weird that I hear Game of Thrones in my head like “WHEEL! OF! FORTUNE!!”? It’s not just me, right?
10. And what seems to be this week’s general consensus after the series finale: