I can always tell when I’ve got my house in order. Not my house house, let’s not fool ourselves, that’s almost never in order. I’m talking ’bout the old noggin. When I’m in the right head space silence isn’t a problem. Do I enjoy spending hours upon hours marinating in Quiet? Not really. Even on my best days I’ve got a limited tolerance for embracing silence. But when my head’s screwed on wrong getting stuck in silence is enough to make me jump out a window.
It’s been awhile since I’ve experienced this particular unpleasantness. Glass half full – that means I’m on a streak of awesome possum so yay. Glass half empty – nah, I dunno, but I do know being silent for a few hours on Thursday nearly drove me to the brink. No bueno.
First come the jitters. Jumping at every flicker in my peripheral vision. Twitchy fingers, restless toes, shifting in my seat like a six-year-old during the reading of the Passion on Easter Saturday. Then comes the self-talk – you can do this, Laura. It’s okay to sit here by yourself. It’s okay not to know any of these people. It’s okay that your teen with her newly minted independence and a friend posse three deep is 200% ignoring you. IT’S OKAY, DAMMIT.
Eventually there’s an acceptance. Not an ahhhhhh, the gloriousness of siiiiiilence acceptance. More an okay, then, I guess we’ll just find a way to sit with this without losing our mind sort of thing.
But sometimes that’s really all I can ask for.
Linda hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week’s prompt is “silent/silence.” Use one or both in your post. Have fun!
The more silence I have, the more likely I am to talk to myself out loud.
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Definitely! I’d like to think it helps me think my way through stuff but maybe I’m just filling the silence.
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I do believe it helps to hear my own voice say, things like, “Stop thinking about that!” or FOCUS, or “Why did I come into this room?”
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I have found walking outside helpful when my mind was full of worries. The physical movement helped the mind to process. I should probably do that more now. 😉
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That’s a really good suggestion. If I drag the dogs along I’ll for sure be too distracted to focus on annoying thoughts! 😆
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So relate-able and it made me chuckle in memories of my kids when they were teens.
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Okay, I like them, I do. But when I whisper to my girl that I need help putting sunscreen on my back – which requires her to acknowledge my presence for only for about 60 seconds – AND THEN SHE IGNORES ME FOR 3 HOURS?? Yeah. SUPER fun times. 😆
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It gets better, I promise. Then you get to laugh at them as they struggle with the same issue with their teens. Life is a circle.
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That’s almost every event I ever attended throughout my kids school years. The before … During was okay. Leaving was bliss. But prep to get there? No bueno. Then sitting there waiting for things to begin. Seeing all the others who knew each other like forever … who would meet up … on purpose. The jitters began before we even left the house. I feel for ya.
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omg, THANK YOU. I am forever carrying around that new girl baggage & feel like everyone else has buddies but me. I’m living the life I tell my daughter is true — that you really only have a handful of GOOD friends — but that doesn’t make kid events any easier. 💛
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LOL – maybe it’s a mom thing, we’re always on alert? When we don’t have to be, we freak! It gets better in an empty nest. The silence is peaceful. Once you accept the empty part, that is. 😉
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I guess? I don’t remember what it’s like to sleep, REALLY sleep without twitching at the small whispery noises. Maybe the quiet freaks me out cuz it meant the kids were destroying something… 😂
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LOL – yeah, kids that are quiet usually means something is going on! 😉
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Silence is uncomfortable sometimes!
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Yes, sometimes it is. I’m impressed with people who are perfectly comfortable in silence.
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That’s true!
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“ shifting in my seat like a six-year-old during the reading of the Passion on Easter Saturday”
Oh my goodness. That’s the best!
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You can take the girl out of the Catholic but you can’t take the Catholic out of the girl. 😆
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Yes, there are so many types of silences. They bring different reactions from us. Well expressed.
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Thank you. 🙂
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Some days silence is what I need. Other days it feels very foreboding. And I do the ‘Gary it’s fine’ thing until some crazy thing – usually pet related distracts me.
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I figure I’m doing okay since eventually I manage to settle down. Some days it just takes longer. 🙄
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I can relate to this, Laura. I sometimes find it very difficult to sit in silence. Our office is now open plan and everyone is so quiet, it is a huge adjustment for me.
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Oh no. A room full of people being QUIET?? No no no. How are you supposed to focus like that?!
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