I. do. not. golf.
I just don’t. This even falls under the One-and-Done category so it’s not like you can say, “Well, if you’d just give it a chance you might really love it.” I gave it a chance. I most definitely didn’t love it. Did I play long enough to yell “FORE!” on a fairway? Nope. But somehow I think I’ll survive just the same.
You see, this game just isn’t for me. It was oddly boring yet intensely stressful at the same time. How does that even work?? I don’t know, I just know that it’s one of the few settings where my blood pressure spiked despite a lack of excitement. Yes, I know, the stress of learning how to hit the ball had a lot to do with that. And yes, I know, learning in my (ahem) forties would probably be very different from learning in my – late teens? Twenties? Shoot, it’s been so long I don’t even remember for sure. But the fact that almost three decades have passed and I still vividly remember how much I hated this game just reinforces the fact that…
I. do. not. golf.
But even if I’d be willing to put myself on the driving range again and even if I’d be willing to suffer through the indignities of whiff balls and even if I’d be willing to commit to pretty much sucking until, I don’t know, forever – well, I STILL wouldn’t do it. Because who’s got time for a pastime that takes at least four hours to play?! Four hours is coffee, doughnuts, and time with a good book. It’s hitting Starbucks, the bookstore, and Target on a Saturday. It’s back to back movies in a theater without my kids (you know, if we’re doing the whole self-care thing). You know what it’s NOT? Dragging my hot, tired, frustrated fanny all over eighteen holes of a course designed to make it hard for me to put the ball in the stupid cup.
So yeah.
I. do. not. golf.
Linda hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week’s prompt is “for/fore/four.” Use one, use ’em all, use ’em any way you want. Bonus points for using all three. Enjoy!
I think you’re one birdie away from a full on addiction. Give it another shot!
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Maybe the hubby can talk me into trying again once I’ve mellowed our more on the competitive spirit. Another decade could do it. 😆
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This is great. Played a little golf but it is so boring, but a nice walk. Driving the buggies is a highlight. Played a really snooty course once who refused to let us have buggies without a Drs certificate. Luckily one of the party was a surgeon who issued them with various random ailments. Finally ended up racing 6 buggies in a drag race down the last hole. That was fun never played since…..
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Now that DOES sound like a good golf day. (And you know it’s guys like you that made them snooty about the buggies, right? 😆😆)
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I can see why they were reluctant to give us the keys…..
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I’m right there with you, Laura. I don’t get it either. I’ll play golf ,as long as it involves those “little windmills”. This was a funny, non-critical piece about something you dislike. That makes the reader want to agree with you.
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Thank you! Some soc pieces are easier than others.
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That’s the truth. FORE!
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My parents are golf nuts. Like, NUTS, okay? Like, move to Florida so they can play golf all the time and end up with post-retirement jobs at the golf course. My mother dresses as if any moment the LPGA will present for a photo op. (She’s lovely in a foxy way, my mother, but I’m tellin ya, every outfit has a visor to match.)
I don’t have this. Like you, I have tried it. I wasn’t bad at it, but I didn’t like it. It’s HOT and sunny and boring. It just doesn’t move fast enough for me.
My husband used to play. Had to play with my family menfolk the morning of our wedding. I can’t tell you the last time he picked up a club. Does he even have clubs now? I don’t even know, Laura.
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omg, Joey, this is all TOO FUNNY. Playing the morning of your wedding? I think that earns you sainthood points. But your mom constantly being photo op ready is my favorite. Mostly because I can picture exactly what you’re talking about! 😆
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Thank you 🙂
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I am totally with you on this one, Laura. My father tried to teach me to golf, but he finally released me from any obligation to follow his footsteps.
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My father tried. My father-in-law tried. My husband knew better. Let’s just say I’m rather uncoachable in this area — and I’m okay with that.
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“My husband knew better” that’s the key.
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Oh yeah.
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I remember my husband trying to make me learn. Many “worm burners” later, he gave up asking. I think the worms are glad.
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Mine tried, too! He’s all “but it’s something we can still play together when we’re old” and I’m thinking “are you kidding me?! Like I’ll want to burn five hours on a golf course when my time is short!” 😆
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My brother’s father-in-law was a golf pro; Jim met his wife while he was working for her father in the pro shop. Both of them love to golf. Me, I can’t stand the game. Like Mark Twain said, it’s a good walk spoiled.
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Mark Twain was a wise man. My brother and sister-in-law like the golf and more power to them. I think my hubby’s safer if I stay home. 😉
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I am reading a lot about golf 🙂 Here golf is a popular game among the rich 🙂 and golf courses are not there in all places.
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This is true. It’s an expensive sport – golf clubs, greens fees, cart rentals, you even wear nice(ish) clothes to do it. Which makes me wonder even more why on earth would I spend that kind of money to do something that annoys me??
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Good one,Paula
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🙂
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Sorry, got the names mixed up,
Laura 🙏
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I’ve done it myself!
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Thanks 😜
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I don’t golf either. Well, not “real” golf. I have occasionally miniature golfed. The company I worked for once had a golf outing, so I felt obligated to attend. I was assigned to a foursome and I warned the other three that I don’t golf. On the very first hole, I put my ball on a tee, took out a driver, and swung. I hit the ball hard. A solid hit. Unfortunately, instead of going straight down the fairway, it went sideways toward the clubhouse, where it hit and shattered a plate glass window. FORE!
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Yikes! Funny enough I hate miniature golf, too. People are like “what are you talking about, nobody hates miniature golf!” except apparently I’m the Grinch of all things golfing.
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I. do. not. golf. either.
Tried it, found it boring boring boring.
Four hours means artwork, sleep, books, playing with critters and dinking with Mitchell.
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All of which sound MUCH more fun.
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Lol! I. do. not. golf. either :). Nice take on the prompt.
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I always say one needs boundaries. 😆
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Ha! We were both on the same track today!
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That was the only thing that lodged in my brain once I read the prompt. 😉
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I do not hold either, not for want of trying. Couldn’t hit the ball where I wanted too no matter how much I tried. I share your sentiments exactly. Was it Kipling who said golf was a good walk spoilt!?
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Golf, not hold. Bloody spell checker!
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Spell check is the devil’s handiwork sometimes. Someone else said it was Mark Twain — either way, the sentiment holds. I can think of a hundred other ways I’d choose to hate my morning. 😆
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