1. Looks like North Carolina is bucking for The State That Squeezes Every Possible Drop Of Sweat From Its Citizens this summer.
2. We’re running a close second for The State That Preheats Your Car To A Fiery 450° In The Shade.
3. Because nothing says July like dozens of sweaty tissues overflowing your cupholders.
4. You know it’s bad when you say stuff like, “Hey! It’s only gonna be 89° today! Woo hoo!”
5. Then again, there’s no denying that’s a far sight better than these 95, 97, and 99 degree pressure cookers. So. Very. HOT.
6. And, as any good Southern gal will tell you, “It’s not just the heat, it’s the humidity.” Truer words were never spoken.
7. It’s so humid – how humid is it? – It’s so humid, bangs lie limply against foreheads everywhere.
8. It’s so humid, mascara smears cheeks by 10am.
9. It’s so humid, shirts get soaked through on the walk across a parking lot.
10. So go forth, fair North Carolinians, and may the force of powerful air conditioning be with you.
Disclaimer: I wrote this piece last week when we were deep in the throes of forecasts like “It’s a hot one out there! We’re looking at a high of 97 today!” Then the long term forecast told me you’re getting a break from the heat – wait for it – right when I’ve scheduled this post. For the love. Whatever. I’m leaving it as is. This is North Carolina – wait four days and it’ll be tropical again.