When scrolling through social media, watching the morning news, or scanning over newspaper articles, stories of adoption are scattered throughout. They present an uplifting story of heroism and bravery; a story of an otherwise doomed individual who is scooped up by a savior in hopes of giving them a better life.

This isn’t adoption.

Adoption is abandonment.

Adoption would not exist without it. There is always a loss before a gain.”

this is adoption: step into bravery

“I know I’ve ranted about ‘This Is Us’ a lot and I swear I’ll stop eventually, but today is not that day.

As award season is upon us, nominations and wins have been announced, and like every year, we still have the first black ___ in history to do something in entertainment. With all the new nominations coming out, the somewhat recent win of our beloved Sterling K. Brown winning Best Actor in a TV series at the Golden Globes last year, making him the first African American man to do so, has resurfaced and making it’s rounds on the internet-webs.

Great. Fantastic, love Sterling’s fine self. My beef ain’t with him, it’s with his character, Randall.”

Randall’s Treatment Of Deja’s Mother Is Unacceptable: OnlyBlackGirl

“The last two years has been the most beautiful and terrifying times of my life. Pre adoption reunion, my adoption wounds were present, they were real, they were also like an out of body experience because there was no room in my life, in the way society views adoption, in the secrecy and shame to be real and honest about those feelings.

Post adoption reunion became the great unraveling, thread by thread…piece by piece. Anxiety and depression tried to take me under. At forty I was meeting my biological family for the first time and I was feeling like I was dying. When I went to the hospital for a complete 360 degree scan of my heart, certain I was having a heart attack, the technician smiled, said you have a perfectly healthy and strong heart. Do you have any stress in your life right now? That’s when I smiled. If you only, knew dear sir.”

I Have A Secret: Adoptee Out Loud

“I was watching Grey’s Anatomy this week and there was a scene where one of the doctors was feeling sad about the loss of her mother the previous year. She was missing the bond, friendship, and closeness she had with her mother. I started crying because I started thinking of my own mother who has passed. Every time I start crying over my mom’s passing I feel disingenuous, and even “fake”, for grieving because it’s not like I’m wishing she were still here, which leads to all kinds of familiar guilt. I know… that’s pretty messed up to say and that is why I usually shut it down at that point and try to move on. This time, though, I pushed myself to question why it is I am upset. It didn’t take long to figure it out.”

…That is why I cry: Helping Adoptees Find Peace Within and Live Positive Lives