So I had some time to kill in Walgreens the other day. This sentence is our credit card statement’s kiss of death because Walgreens is where impulse shoppers cut their teeth before graduating to the hallowed halls of Target. There’s nothing like the makeup section in a pharmacy to jog my memory on every single beauty supply I’m running low on, been interested in trying, or heard was the miracle cure for (fill in the blank here).

In my defense, I really did need a new eyeliner. Did I also need it in gray? Well…no…but it seemed like a fun idea at the time.

You know what else seemed like a fun idea? New readers. Because I’m apparently you-get-excited-about-new-readers years old now which is a whole new level of crap, my gray is showing. And not in an eyeliner sort of way.

note: For my younger friends, “readers” are those non-prescription glasses that magnify print for easier reading. They come in different power levels ranging from +1.00 to +3.50 and are a handy tell for whether teens call you Old. You totally have to check this out. It cracked Bear up. Me, too, if I’m being honest.

I keep a pair of readers in my bedside table. After I wash my face and brush my teeth I usually leave my “good” glasses in the bathroom – not sure if I’m convinced I’ll roll over and crush them if I get sleepy but I see no reason to take a chance. Thus, the readers. And because I was killing time I got all jazzed about finding some new readers. To wear as I get sleepy. I never said it made sense, y’all.

First I got jammed up about which level to get. After ten minutes I realized they use the same six to eight frame styles for each power level, so unless I found a frame I liked the whole point was moot.

The first pair was black with cool striped earpieces (is that what you call the thing that holds glasses to your face?). The second was a bright aqua frame, and I swear when I put them on it was like Sally Jessy Raphael stared back at me. You know, in blue. It wasn’t a good look. The next pair was – swear to it – polka dotted. The next was black and white. I tried on pair after pair, hating each frame as much as the one before, going back to some earlier pairs because surely it didn’t look as awful as I remembered. Except it did.

Well, the black ones with stripes were kinda cool but after wasting twenty minutes swapping frames in and out, hating most of them, I ended up deciding I didn’t need new readers after all.

But don’t worry. Walgreens made up the money in eyeliner.

Linda hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week’s prompt is “frame.” Use it as a noun or a verb or any way you like. Have fun!