1. Alrighty, let’s start the marinade for tomorrow’s chicken. I need limes, an orange, jalapeño, some olive oil – shoot. Where’s the olive oil? Has anyone seen the olive oil??
2. Okay then, moving on. Garlic…five cloves? FIVE? Anyone else think that’s a little excessive?
3. Plus a handful of cilantro and – come on, man, where’s the freaking kosher salt?
4. Fine, so apparently the marinade is a work in progress. A stalled out work in progress. We’ll just put that one on hold and hit the salsa.
5. Canned tomatoes, two cans of Rotel – check and check. We’re off to a good start.
6. Chop that onion but don’t cut the root now. Wait, which end’s the root? And why do I feel like I ask myself this question every single time?
7. Time to slice up more jalapeños. Huh. My fingers are kinda burning now. Just the left hand, though. Yep, that’s burning all right. Fire. FIRE. Oh my god why did I touch my mouth?!?
8. And let’s mince more garlic ‘cuz we’re not having any vampires hanging around here. No sir.
9. Cilantro time! Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop – gotta love that cilantro.
10. Toss that all in the food processor, add some spices and lime juice, then crank that puppy up. Seriously, you guys, is there anything on the planet better than homemade salsa? It might even be worth these numbed finger pads. Maybe I’ll get some of that sensation back in the morning…a girl can dream.
[Full disclosure: BrightSide saved the Marinade Day by picking up olive oil at the store, and I did indeed find the freaking kosher salt. I also pulled off gluten free muffins, gluten free brownies, and a killer Caesar salad with dinner. We’re venturing into making ceviche today so, you know, pray for me and stuff.]