1. High school is no joke. Homework on day two? Welcome to the real world, son. I know it’s a bit of a shock to the system.
2. Some arguments over when to leave for school will never ever die.
3. Though my patience for them will.
4. Despite all big talk to the contrary, wearing exactly the right outfit – even jeans and a sweatshirt – is a really big deal requiring multiple consultations.
5. You gotta admire how BrightSide keeps chiming in with his opinion no matter how many times Bear ignores it.
6. I’m guessing he might not yet have a handle on the middle school girl top/jeans/shoes requirements since it seems they differ wildly from your everyday fashion rules.
7. Apparently we’re gonna have the “you’re Out Of Your Ever Loving Mind if you think I’m completing these school forms at 10:00 at night when you’ve had all freaking day to give them to me” conversation every single year.
8. They get one pass each August for this nonsense with a promise that every time thereafter gets a “hate it for ya, bring ’em back after school tomorrow.”
9. Even on week one I hold to the piss poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine philosophy.
10. It’s remarkable how these kids keep being surprised by this. Like it’s new. Like I wasn’t exactly like this last year, and the year before that, and the year before that. Good grief.
11. You can’t delete part of a group text. Even when you accidentally send an inappropriate joke to a thread that includes, say, the kids. Whoops.
12. Not like it’s anything they haven’t heard before but still.
13. The animals sleep for days. It’s like they’ve been running a marathon all summer and finally get to rest. Which would make sense if we actually, you know, ran them over the summer. It makes less sense after weeks of lazy napping.
14. Finding the one smoke alarm battery emitting that godawful beep traumatizing Phoebe is like playing real life Battleship. Except this version involves teetering at the top of stepladders while my dog has a nervous breakdown in the basement.
15. We weren’t the only evil parents who made their kids get up early(ish) and go to bed at a decent time last week in the vain hope it would ease transition to school hours.
16. But we’re still the worst parents with the most annoying parenting style ever. You know, in case I was getting a big head or something.
17. Plus refusing to allow Snapchat is severely hindering our kids’ social lives. Cry me a river.
18. There are few things as embarrassing as clipping a curb doing the pickup line at the high school.
19. This freshman course load is a wee bit intimidating. Thank God for teachers’ office hours. Biology and geometry are but faint, faint memories in this brain of mine.
20. It never fails. No matter how carefully I search, no matter how much I cross-check supplies, after we finish school shopping I inevitably find some secret stash in the house. Apparently I’ve been preparing for a run on loose leaf paper and highlighters.
Funny excerpts! I would love to hear what you have to say about my blog. It seems many teachers fear the lunch lady too! https://angrylunchlady.wordpress.com/
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I do not understand the clothes. I am very old and do not understand. I am certain the things they assemble do not belong together, and feel you would agree. But you and I, Laura, we can stand and watch 150 girls wearing wrongness in unison and getting a lot of peer approval. Black Crocs and white socks? Sweaters with soccer shorts? We would never. They do.
I have spoken several times about removing Snapchat. As far as I can tell, Snapchat is to teen gossip what my MIL is to adult gossip.
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Sadly (!!), Snapchat manifested in our world in ways that are far less acceptable than gossip. Idle chitchat I can handle, mean middle school chitchat I can deal with. Let’s just say we’ve encountered some folks who’ve taken a real shining to those disappearing pics and that sh*t won’t fly.
Gray crocs with white socks on the girl when she met a friend for the movies today. Just shook my head and kept my mouth shut.
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*nods* What else can we do? Haha!
I haven’t heard of any of that from my girls, but I do know it’s been an issue with others *nods again* My eldest daughter was on the cusp of the phone pic scandals. Anddd, someone recorded video of the girls’ locker room. Scary times.
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Hilarious 😂 Now I know what my mom must be going through lol
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And seeing her point of view is the first step — bwahahahaha!!
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😂😂🤷♀️
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Why is it that the school supplies you find are the ones not needed now. This sort of stuff was not part of the dreams you had about being the best parent ever. That dream lasted until about a minute after the birth.
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So so true. But if some teacher says “gee, we really could use 4 composition books, 2 glue sticks, a pack of black pens, and a few random highlighters” then I’ve got them covered!
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Our school implemented registration for middle school before the kids can get their schedule. Each grade level has a day before school starts to get it done. All forms are completed and less stressed parents and kids at the beginning of school.
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I’m used to those big packets that come home at Back to School night but somehow there always seems to be extra pages that float home over the first week. There’s something to be said for getting it all done and out of the way before things start at all.
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It is a double good thing. Parents who procrastinate coming for their kids day, or the make-up days, are in a line when school starts filling in things before the kids can go to classes. It has mad life so much easier for all.
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someday you’ll look back on this and it will all seem funny…
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Agreed. I thought the toddler years would never be amusing yet here we are with fond memories of them…the human brain is fascinating that way.
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Sympathies from me to you, but secret gloating over my childless status. I did keep it secret you notice. Heh! 😉
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I appreciate the sympathies. I also understand the gloating because OH MY LORD WHAT FOOLISHNESS IS THIS. Bwahahaha!!
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I’m laughing. I especially like the “cry me a river” attitude you have going on. There’s a tough lesson all kids need to learn, not everyone cares about their problems. Great list.
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Yeah, it’s a tough sell. The hubby just goes “you know, you don’t always get what you want” & then I’ve got that song running through my head… 😆
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We are still finding extra school supplies, and there hasn’t been a school-age child in this house since 2002. I think they multiply in the dark corners.
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Like water & Gremlins. Too bad it’s never the one item my kid forgot to tell me he needed.
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You are so right about all of this and it’s as if it’s ‘groundhog day ‘ each year. The kids are shocked by the newness of the getting to and being in school situation. As we feel like ‘here we go again..’
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‘Groundhog day’ is a perfect description, Beth.
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