1. Dammit, WHERE IS FALL??
2. We had one week in September – one glorious week – when the temps were in the eighties. And yes, I know how ridiculous that must sound to those of you with normal fall weather this month, but here in North Carolina we’re busy supporting the economy with clinical strength deodorant purchases year round.
3. Don’t say we never did nothin’ for y’all.
4. So besides that one glorious week in the eighties we’ve been suffering through what can only be called The Month of Hideously Hades-like Hellmouth Swampiness.
5. Or, more accurately, The Month of Hideously Hades-like Hellmouth Swampiness following The Last Four Months of Hideously Hades-like Hellmouth Swampiness.
6. We’re talking 95 degree days all over the freaking place. Sweating through my shirt on a ten minute car ride. Sticky ponytails and pits.
7. Basically it’s a whole lotta ICK.
8. I ran to the store yesterday to pick up stuff for dinner this week. I was in and out in thirty measly minutes, but when I climbed back into the car it registered 105 degrees. 105 degrees?!? There are no words.
9. Do you know what cools a car down once it hits 105 degrees? Nothing. Nothing cools a car down once it hits 105 degrees. Congrats – you’re the proud owner of a traveling sauna now.
10. Maybe I should start storing spa towels and eucalyptus oil in the trunk.