1. Can you even say you’re hydrating if you haven’t finished a travel mug of coffee and sixteen ounces of water by 10:00am?
2. Me, to kid #1 on Friday evening: Guess what, kiddo, we’re going to dinner. Kid #1: Aw, mom, can’t we just get takeout? Me: Nope, we’re going out. To an actual restaurant. With tables. Where I can look you right in your eyes and talk about, you know, life and stuff. Because I like you. Suck it up.
3. Can somebody please tell me why people get so pissy on twitter? Some yoga owner is trying to tear me a new one because she disagrees with my comment on a video. Lawd almighty.
4. Speaking of yoga: yes, I wore yoga pants to youth group. Yes, I realize that makes me a walking, talking caricature of white, middle aged women. But they’re super comfy and I’d do it again.
5. Sure, your friends can come over. Sure, we can get pizza. Sure, they can stay late. But if you think I’m cleaning up a dozen glasses scattered across the counter you’ve got another think coming.
6. Wait, what? You didn’t eat breakfast? Well, yeah, of course you’re starving then. You’ll make it. Just a thought: maybe you’ll remember to eat breakfast next time.
7. It’s entirely possible I’m going to wear my birks year round. I love these sandals more than a king-sized Snickers® bar when my blood sugar’s crashing.
8. And I love a Snickers® bar like it’s a long lost sailor returning from sea.
9. Heated social media debates notwithstanding, no candy corn shall darken the doorstep of this household. So sayeth the keeper of the sugar purse strings.
10. Y’all. These paw prints up and down my carpet are the last straw. We have for real got to wipe down the dogs’ paws every single time they come back in the house. Seriously, guys, my sanity depends on this.
#5 has all my support. Also Birks, yes. Sometimes I want to put them on the feet of mean bitches — “There, isn’t that better?”
I do not wear yoga pants places, but if I loved them, I would. Now, velour track pants, well… I just need to collect all the colors 😉
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Ooh, they oughta sell those in a color pack. You know, like Bombas sells sock packs? Or maybe the “fall” and “spring” collections in those fancy color schemes people like so much… 😆
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Yes. I will have all the tints, please. (I am a color scheme person, lol!)
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I love this, Laura. The restaurant, looking in the eyes, talking – are you adding “put that phone down” ? As for people getting pissy on Twitter, I really don’t understand that. Apparently, I’m only entitled to my opinion if it agrees with someone else’s opinion. Make me thing someone needs to consult a dictionary on the word “opinion.”
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Oh yes, absolutely no phones at dinner, at home or when we’re out. If we manage to sit our butts down around a table then there will be actual eye contact and conversation that revolves around something other than the latest Tik Tok video. He ended up thanking me later that night for taking him — sometimes they don’t know they want that one on one time until after it’s over. 😉
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But those are the moments they remember.
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Laugh out loud funny, Laura. I can see this as Mom’s manifesto nailed to the refrigerator.
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That sounds like a fun idea. Maybe I can take bets on how long it’ll take a kid to notice it. Bwahahahaha!!!
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Those are some precious waters you are navigating.
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This is what I keep in mind when things get a little too hairy. 😆😆
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So funny. Not sure if it was the same your way but I still call the snickers bar a Marathon Bar. I judge hydration less in terms of inputs rather more in terms of outputs…l
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You know, Marathon Bar does sound familiar but I’m pretty sure it’s always been Snickers for me. Not sure what that’s about. And hydration output is a valuable tool for measurement. 😆
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