1. Having 1,500 e-mails sitting in my box doesn’t even phase me. Shoot, the blog has over 2,700 but most of those are blog post notifications like hey, you’ve got a comment or check out so-and-so’s new blog post! I just can’t seem to get in there to clean things out on the regular, though, so it stacks up.
2. Nothing seems to fix this. Every once in a while I get a hair out of place so I go through and hit unsubscribe for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. A massive message dump. That’ll solve it, right?
3. Nope. The next day I’ve got a whole new batch of marketing blitz – Birch Lane, TOMS, Under Armour, Sperry, Kendra Scott, Bombas, American Eagle, CVS, Crate and Barrel, thredup. Everybody’s got something to peddle and trying to escape their list is like trying to get rid of ants while your kid wanders around dropping cookie crumbs.
4. Food comes calling a lot, too. Moe’s, Chipotle, Chic-fil-a – well, those make sense. Find Me Gluten Free and Harris Teeter – I guess those are useful. But Buffalo Wild Wings? Yeah, that one makes no sense.
5. Netflix should feel free to stop notifying me when they’ve added a tv show I might like. I don’t need binge temptation slapping me in my inbox.
6. Then there are e-mails I dislike but flat out feel bad hating. Like the American Red Cross. What kind of person hates the Red Cross? The kind who gets HEY YOU, GIVE US BLOOD messages four weeks after donating.
7. Some of those e-mails are news updates. “Good Morning from CNN” blasts in daily – that seemed like a good idea when I signed up but these days I’ve got news pouring into my brain nonstop. It’s not like I’m gonna miss some major event with notifications pinging my phone right and left.
8. These look pretty random but it isn’t even the stuff that lands in my junk folder. Check that one out and you’ll find YouTube, Pinterest, PayPal, and Camping World RV (huh?) hanging out. But the one I’m really wondering about is the pitch that dropped into an old e-mail address from eharmony. How on earth did they get my info?
9. Lucky me, I’ve even been offered a free 30-day trial of oxygen. The graphic proudly shouts, “Reclaim Your Freedom! Oxygen. Anytime. Anywhere.” Umm…okay? Don’t I already have this?
10. I’ll admit it, my gmail isn’t for the faint of heart. BrightSide’s learned not to look – he says it gives him palpitations to see that many messages sitting there, waiting. Just one more way we rock the yin and yang.