1. “I know you are, but what am I?”
2. “Takes one to know one.”
3. “You look good…NOT.”
4. “Why are you such a scaredy cat?”
5. “I’m telling.”
6. “No way, José.”
7. “Talk to the hand.”
8. “Take a chill pill.”
9. “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Anything you say bounces off me and sticks to you.”
10. “He who smelt it dealt it.”
So what did I miss? Share your favorite comebacks in the comments. I’ll add some of the gems I’m picking up from the kids these days.
Riddle from the Middle 
Funny as a crutch (or funny as a screen door in a submarine).
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Those are two more I hadn’t heard before. Thanks for playing! 🙂
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Here we go, round two. 😉
Why are you so shady?
Damn, she’s thirsty.
Ratchet.
facepalm
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In the vein of the “he who smelt it..” is the one we used to say “You grew it, you chew it!” (my brother had wicked smelling gas)
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That’s a new one on me!! 😆😆
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Thanks ! That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day !
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Simple, classic, covers a variety of situations. Good one!
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As promised, some of the current day lingo (which as soon as I type it will no doubt be “so yesterday”).
CAP
you are so basic
getting left on read
Gotta do school drop-off but I’ll add more later if I can drag them out of my brain. 😆
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Back when smoking was cool and disposable lighters hadn’t been invented, “do you have a match?” jokes were the best. My favorite answer of all time “yeah, my a** and your face.”
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Bwahahaha! Impossible to miss the boat on that one!!
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oh, do i remember these!
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Unforgettable remnants of childhood…
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Love these. Another Churchill one. He was stumbling around with a bad hangover and he came across someone he didn’t recognise. He told an aid ‘tell him to bugger off’.
An old Yorkshire one ‘you’re not fit to juggle my rhubarb’.
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Gracious. The English have a particular skill when it comes to insulting someone while sounding proper. Bwahahaha!!
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Love them.
This is not a fifth-grade one but I love what a snooty lady said to Winston Churchill – “Winston – You’re drunk!”
His comeback – “Madam, you’re ugly. Tomorrow I’ll be sober!”
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Not 5th grade but utterly perfect! 😆
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Very good ones! I will think of some to contribute.
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Look forward to reading them!
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Sometimes, it’s better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you’re stupid rather than open it and remove all doubt.
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A classic. 😉
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It is! One of my faves.
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