I was positively shocked to discover I’ve yet to blog a Halloween candy post. I mean, how is that possible? Four Halloween posts, four chances to wax poetic about candy options, and nada?? I’m surprised I haven’t been tossed by the WordPress police.
But this shall be my year of redemption. This shall be my year to rectify my mistake.
2019 shall be The Year Of The Candy Post.
Let it begin.
1. Snickers is the top dog of the candy world. Don’t @me, this is gospel truth.
2. Kit Kats are awesome sauce but they’re off limits now. Damn that gluteny goodness.
3. I’ve li-ter-a-lly eaten my weight in red Twizzlers over the years. You can imagine my surprise to learn that licorice is not gluten free because for some godforsaken reason they use wheat flour in those things. BOO.
4. You know what is gluten free? Tic Tacs. Wouldn’t that make a festive trick or treat goodie.
5. Bit-O-Honey is a big head fake.
6. Atomic Fireballs are for people who enjoy setting their mouths on fire.
7. I don’t understand Blow Pops. It’s a sucker…until you hit a sticky middle. Then it’s gum…but there are always chunks of sucker stuck in there. Crunchy, sticky gum. Who thought this was a good idea?
8. Cadbury Eggs – another delight that is sadly off limits.
9. Mounds are delicious. Almond Joy, too.
9a. I can’t understand people who don’t love coconut.
10. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are the bomb. Chocolate, peanut butter, what’s not to love?
11. Just the memory of Candy Corn makes me want to vomit.
12. Ditto for Circus Peanuts.
13. Also Necco Wafers.
14. Candy cigarettes were the crap candy of the 70s. They don’t still sell those, right?
15. 3 Musketeers Bars are yummy but a bit mystifying – I always expect them to be more firm than they are. Dunno why, but there it is.
16. Milky Way bars also delight yet perplex me.
17. Jelly Belly jelly beans are nirvana.
18. Also gummy Lifesavers.
19. And Rolos. Oh lawd, Rolos are delish.
20. Peeps are this weird combination of gritty coarse sugar and sproingy marshmallow sweetness.
21. Butterfingers? Ick.
22. Raisinets seem like a crime against humanity in the candy world.
23. Smarties are delightful and impossible to sneak open in church.
24. Tootsie Rolls are tasty when they’re fresh.
24a. Stale Tootsie Rolls disappoint like gluten free cookies.
25. Swedish Fish are divine. We had a brief falling out after they yanked one of my crowns but we’re back on good terms again.