Before yesterday’s post I never really focused on how many candies are out there. Since yesterday’s post I think of nothing but how many candies are out there. It turns out 2019 shall be The Year Of The Two Part Candy Post.
marketing committee brainstorming
1. Airheads: the delicious alternative to tooth extraction
2. Baby Ruth: okay, we know it looks like poop…
3. Boston Baked Beans: seriously, guys? we’re REALLY naming it this??
4. Bottle Caps: Wonka made us include root beer
5. Candy Buttons: pocket sized sugar pellets
6. Candy Necklace: fashion statement at 6:00pm, slobbery mess by 8:00
7. Chick-O-Stick: mystery candy
8. Chocolate Malt Balls: the cost efficient candy (you’ll never run out because nobody eats them. ever.)
9. Chuckles: it’s not our fault they named that stupid clown Chuckles
10. Conversation Hearts: for people who take their cliches with that chalky aftertaste
11. Everlasting Gobstopper: it’s a two hour commitment
12. Fun Dip: mmm, SUGAR
13. Gumdrops: bonus points for eating the spice ones
14. Gummi Bears: delightful and SQUISHY. watch their heads mush up and down!
15. Hershey’s Kiss: for the kid who likes a mountain of trash
16. Hershey’s Nuggets: if you like ’em chunky
17. Jujubes: you think you want fruit chewies but these will do
18. Lemonhead: the best pucker you’ll ever have
19. M&Ms: you’ll end up eating a hundred
20. Peanut M&Ms: yes, they’re bigger, you’ll still end up eating a hundred
21. Mike and Ike: candy you thought you hated but actually don’t
22. Milk Duds: chocolate. caramel. duh.
23. Nerds: voted most likely to spill on a downhill slope
24. Nips: your wintertime treat
25: Now and Later: the square jawbreaker
26. Pixie Stix: because mainlining sugar is efficient
27. Red Vines: Twizzlers Lite
28. Reese’s Pieces: E.T. phone home!
29. Ring Pops: getting stuck in kids’ hair since 1979
30. Sixlets: not an M&M, but close enough
31. Skittles: only serial killers mix their colors. don’t be a serial killer.
32. Sour Patch Kids: just disregard the slightly unsettling cannibalistic aspect
33. Starburst: pro tip – date someone who hates your favorite flavor
34. Tootsie Pops: we only look like a Blow Pop
35. Twix: cookie 2.0
36. Wax Bottles: for the discriminating palate
37. Wax Lips: if you just need some peace and quiet for half an hour…
38. Werther’s Original: keep a stash and win over the geriatric crowd
39. York Peppermint Pattie: No time to brush? Enjoy this sharp minty taste with a chocolate chaser.
40. Whoppers: sure, they taste like cardboard but they’re covered in chocolate, take it or leave it