Before yesterday’s post I never really focused on how many candies are out there. Since yesterday’s post I think of nothing but how many candies are out there. It turns out 2019 shall be The Year Of The Two Part Candy Post.

marketing committee brainstorming

1.  Airheads: the delicious alternative to tooth extraction

2.  Baby Ruth: okay, we know it looks like poop…

3.  Boston Baked Beans: seriously, guys? we’re REALLY naming it this??

4.  Bottle Caps: Wonka made us include root beer

5.  Candy Buttons: pocket sized sugar pellets

6.  Candy Necklace: fashion statement at 6:00pm, slobbery mess by 8:00

7.  Chick-O-Stick: mystery candy

8.  Chocolate Malt Balls: the cost efficient candy (you’ll never run out because nobody eats them. ever.)

9.  Chuckles: it’s not our fault they named that stupid clown Chuckles

10.  Conversation Hearts: for people who take their cliches with that chalky aftertaste

11.  Everlasting Gobstopper: it’s a two hour commitment

12.  Fun Dip:  mmm, SUGAR

13.  Gumdrops: bonus points for eating the spice ones

14.  Gummi Bears: delightful and SQUISHY. watch their heads mush up and down!

15.  Hershey’s Kiss: for the kid who likes a mountain of trash

16.  Hershey’s Nuggets: if you like ’em chunky

17.  Jujubes: you think you want fruit chewies but these will do

18.  Lemonhead: the best pucker you’ll ever have

19.  M&Ms: you’ll end up eating a hundred

20.  Peanut M&Ms: yes, they’re bigger, you’ll still end up eating a hundred

21.  Mike and Ike: candy you thought you hated but actually don’t

22.  Milk Duds: chocolate. caramel. duh.

23.  Nerds: voted most likely to spill on a downhill slope

24.  Nips: your wintertime treat

25:  Now and Later: the square jawbreaker

26.  Pixie Stix: because mainlining sugar is efficient

27.  Red Vines: Twizzlers Lite

28.  Reese’s Pieces: E.T. phone home!

29.  Ring Pops: getting stuck in kids’ hair since 1979

30.  Sixlets: not an M&M, but close enough

31.  Skittles: only serial killers mix their colors. don’t be a serial killer.

32.  Sour Patch Kids: just disregard the slightly unsettling cannibalistic aspect

33.  Starburst: pro tip – date someone who hates your favorite flavor

34.  Tootsie Pops: we only look like a Blow Pop

35.  Twix: cookie 2.0

36.  Wax Bottles: for the discriminating palate

37.  Wax Lips: if you just need some peace and quiet for half an hour…

38.  Werther’s Original: keep a stash and win over the geriatric crowd

39.  York Peppermint Pattie: No time to brush? Enjoy this sharp minty taste with a chocolate chaser.

40.  Whoppers: sure, they taste like cardboard but they’re covered in chocolate, take it or leave it