1. We made it through Halloween and into November which means it’s time for my annual realization: holy sh*t, those folks who’ve been Christmas shopping since Labor Day might not be so nuts after all. It’s a sobering thought. Not one that will alter my behavior in 2020, sadly, but a sobering thought nonetheless. All that’s left to do is look for ways to maintain my November/December sanity.
2. Please don’t ask if I’ve started my Christmas shopping. I haven’t. I did remember I have to mail several items this year so I’d best get on it, but otherwise? Just don’t ask. I haven’t started.
3. This month I will not be listening to the local all Christmas music, all the time radio station shenanigans. If you tune in while I’m riding in your car I’ll consider it a hostage situation and take evasive measures.
4. Evasive measures may or may not include me diving headlong from your vehicle at the next stoplight.
5. I actually love Christmas. Really, I’m all about the holiday spirit. But if your home is already decked out in wreaths and lights you can be damn sure we’re mocking you.
6. I’m looking at you, house at the entrance. And you, too, house on the street with the weird stop sign. Christmas stuff up the day after Halloween?? For the love.
7. If you’ve decided to surprise your precious angel with a Ferrari or Porsche on Christmas morning I’m begging you – BEGGING you – no hints. No clues designed to hype up the Big Surprise because trust me, it’ll pack enough punch as is. But you keeping that gift under wraps saves me the extra month of hearing my kid wax poetic about the sooooooo cool parents that, you know, aren’t us.
8. I’m unwilling to engage in the tinsel-garland-bare tree debate until November 29th. I will happily discuss the mashed versus sweet potato issue until then, though.
9. No, I haven’t thought about taking the kids to a parade of lights or a parade of homes or a Christmas parade or any other sort of chain event. We’re just trying to get through report cards, people.
10. Our lives have entered their annual balancing act. These are days of precarious calendar keeping and obligation juggling, a time when sanity gets stretched thin then bounces back to recover. So it would really, really help if I could get, say, more than two days’ notice for class parties, donations, meetings – you know, anything that requires effort and participation on my part. It’s a balancing act, folks, and it doesn’t take much to send all these spinning plates crashing to the floor.
10. Balancing act here, too. I keep thinking it will die down, and then there’s a play, or swim season starts, or there’s a dance, or testing, or this, or that and I realize actual balancing may happen in 2022. Sometimes I really miss my Army Wife tribe. This was somehow easier with four kids, when I had a tribe…
I put the scarecrow away and put out the cornucopia. That’s where I am. I ain’t ready to Yule, or to think about Christmasing.
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Oh no, the Yule shall come later, much later, after the gobble gobble day is done. Last week winter sports practice started and that means two kids are on separate schedules with this weird 45 minute window when I’m trying to shove appropriately nutritious and appealing food in front of them. This has also been my weekend to get those ducks in a row for holiday dinners we’re hosting so it’s been text threads galore about dates and times and food signups because THIS IS THE YEAR I will finally get better at asking for help. Sheesh.
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Admitting you need help IS the first hurdle 😉 THIS WILL BE YOUR YEAR!
I also have the weird window of foodstuffs, and they’re quite moody at that time, which takes me back to our Snickers convo…
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Funny Laura. I wish you would hold some sway over the retailers. Damn it is too early.
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WAY too early, John. There oughta be some sort of penalty for jumping the gun on Christmas retail.
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We had a friend (sadly now deceased) who used to start her Christmas shopping the day after Christmas and would buy things through the year, so that by Thanksgiving she was all done. That sounds like a winner to me.
The guy across the street and his son spend Thanksgiving during the day setting up their Bacchanalia of Christmas lights and inflatables. I think the lady of the house is just as happy not having to deal with them while she’s trying to get dinner ready.
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You know, I actually had that bright idea once. I picked up the perfect t-shirt for my brother then promptly lost it for, oh, six years or so. Every year since I come across it sometime in March and think oh yeah, I’ll have to give that to him this year. Guess what — it’s still in my attic.
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Don’t judge me. My Christmas lights are up around the eaves of my house. This is because a) the light people (you didn’t think I hung those things MYSELF??) gave a hefty discount to anyone who was willing to do that early and I’m all for saving money and b) Winter showed up early in this town, bringing a hefty dumping of snow and angst. I didn’t need a law suit from those light people because someone slid off my roof and broke something like their back. Those light people are grim and humorless and don’t play. But the lights will NOT be lighted until December 1st. Bah and humbug!
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Ah, but there’s an argument to be made that you’re simply being extraordinarily responsible so that *when it’s the appropriate time* you’ll be READY to celebrate. Kudos to you. Also, I’m a huge fan of avoiding the lawsuits because no to the lawyers and such.
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The only way I could deal with the stress of the impending holidays was to make plans to flee. My husband and I have decided to spend Christmas out of state at a gorgeous old hotel from the 1800s – no family invited! I can’t freaking WAIT.
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My heart just skipped a beat. LITERALLY skipped a beat. This sounds like a grownups version of Disney World to me. 🙂
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We keep giggling and saying, “Guess where we’ll be for Christmas?” and then answering in unison, “NOT HERE!” 😂
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A few years ago my kids and I decided on “no gift” holidays. Although we do occasionally give something small that we’ve created, life is so much simpler now.
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I am dreaming – dreaming! – of simpler times to come. We’ll get there. Section by section we’ve got parts of our family that are shifting to gifts only among the cousins, that kind of thing. Every little bit helps.
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I am not quite sure how to react to your request. Especially when you talk about a sobering thought on a Monday morning. Hey that’s just me. And yes it is to darn soon for christmas. I have already seen my first black friday comercial of the season. Sadly it will not be the last.
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Took our golden to get groomed on Nov 1st and they were playing CHRISTMAS CAROLS over the sound system. I mean, come on!!!!
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I need you to bake four doesn’t gluten-free brownies – no nuts – and send them to school tomorrow. For full effect, wait until 8:30 to read this.
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You left off the PM
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Because of course 8:30 at night is a perfectly reasonable time to start massive baking projects. 😆😆
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Ha ha – I assumed that was implied. Along with the fact that you found the note in someone’s backpack.
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Me too. However a bit of clarification adds to the Monday malady.
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Yep, it kinda looks like that, along with “what? it’s not like you’re doing anything else.” Cue brain exploding.
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I hear you!
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Solidarity.
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🤝🤜🤛
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this season/seasons in particular are precarious in the world of schedules and planning, and I do love Christmas, but try to roll with what’s ahead of me in the next few weeks as we go
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That’s usually what gets me through but (ironically) it’s also what puts me in an enormous panic the day after Thanksgiving because while I’m keeping my head down and working my way toward the November holiday Christmas just keeps marching toward us. Ack!
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And what gets done, gets done and what doesn’t….)
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Love this. The oncoming chaos and stress. Black Friday has a lot to answer for. Any thought of early and careful Christmas shopping is ditched on the hope of great present deals. Never happening unless the kids wants a shaver or a new microwave as a gift.
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Yep. It doesn’t help that I’ve done the majority of our shopping the last two years alone, in my sweats, from the comfort of my couch. Makes it hard to motivate to get going now…
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