1. Thou shalt take twenty-five photos to find that one perfectly angled selfie.
2. Thou shalt avail yourself of all lenses and filters, especially those sporting animal ears.
3. Thou shalt carry on inane conversations with friends consisting entirely of random tennis shoe shots.
4. Thou shalt accidentally snap an embarrassing junk food binge to your ex at least once.
5. Thou shalt maintain your streaks at all costs. Final exams? Snap from study hall. Violently ill with the flu? Snap from the bathroom. There is no excuse for breaking a streak short of your eyes being gouged out and fingers amputated, and even then you could dictate to a friend.
6. Pursuant to #5, thou shalt find someone to babysit your streaks while you’re on vacation.
7. By using this app thou shalt affirm that waiting longer than 26.5 seconds to respond to a snap means you’re a) pissed, b) jealous, or c) trapped under a heavy object while both pissed and jealous.
8. Thou shalt create a fun and funky bitmoji you can use to entertain friends and strangers alike.
9. Thou shalt waste 50+ hours a week taking, editing, and captioning your snaps. Thou shalt waste an equal amount scrolling through messages from your massive list of friends, acquaintances, near-acquaintances, and basically-strangers.
10. Thou shalt never ever EVER screenshot someone’s photo. Violators are subject to heckling, public shaming, and destruction of their phones by sledgehammer.