Okay sure, it’s not Monday anymore but better late than never, am I right?
1. There’s a special circle of hell named “yeah, you feel like your head’s exploding but let’s give your kid a stomach bug and what the hell, let’s pass it on to you, too, since you held them all night while they puked”.
2. Dehydration is a real bummer and no amount of Chapstick can fix that mess.
3. The debate is real: to take medicine and hope you don’t puke it up or skip it and sacrifice hours at the altar of achy misery.
4. Post-its are helpful on your average day. Add in two medications on different dosing schedules for the kid plus my own sleep deprivation/nausea/headache and recording what time you took pills becomes an imperative.
5. The restorative powers of Gatorade are not to be mocked.
6. Secluding the sick kiddo on a separate floor seems like a bright idea right up until you realize your head’s pounding, you’re dizzy, and you still have to drag your miserable butt up those stairs.
7. I seriously have NO IDEA how single moms and dads survive this stuff.
8. Apparently you can have a histamine reaction to a viral infection. Who knew. I like to think of myself as calm under pressure but blasé goes out the window once you watch your kid explode in welts.
9. Netflix will save your sanity.
10. The brain is a real mind f*ck. It tells you that you’re better. It’s all “Hey, it’s been a whole 48 hours since you puked up a lung, of course you can have a salad, it’s healthy. Go on, tell your mom.” It lies.