Seriously, the first nine days of 2020 have sucked the big one.
Because I’ve been conditioned for years to minimize (shoutout to my “it’s not that bad” peeps) I typed that sentence and the voice in my head immediately started pushing back. Fine, but it’s not like you have Mad Cow disease. You’re not losing the house and you haven’t crashed the car and your kids aren’t failing out of school and nobody’s died so shut your pie hole and get on with it.
The voice inside my head can be a mean bitch when she wants but I’ve done my work so now I push back. Yeah, but just because somebody else’s pain comes from tragedy it doesn’t mean mine’s not valid so shut it, Dolores.
I just came up with that and now I’m rock solid sure Dolores will be my head-voice name forever.
But anyways…
The first nine days of 2020 have brought challenges, man, and I’m pretty tired of it. These ears have heard things you would not believe and the mental energy it takes to maintain composure in those moments could power a mid-sized neighborhood on Super Bowl Sunday. There was the six (or was it seven?) day headache streak that broke me, y’all. IT BROKE ME. There was nursing a kid through a godawful stomach bug which despite a ridiculous amount of hand washing and prayer still nailed me. Three days are entirely missing – poof! Gone in a blur of napping and nausea and sips of Gatorade.
That started a week ago and I’m still not back. No spicy food – shoot, even foods with itty bitty spice levels are out these days. No alcohol because heaven forbid I dull any of this horridness with moscato. And then there’s the kicker…wait for it…NO COFFEE. I mean, come on! Seriously?? Well yes, seriously, because yesterday I decided a week was long enough and if I could tolerate plain chicken and rice then a cup of coffee would work out fine except a cup of coffee landed me in the bathroom cursing the existence of every last thing on the planet.
And yes, I’m sure that’s more information about me than you needed but 2020 is REALLY sucking it. Have I mentioned my birthday is in January? Not that I expect rainbows and unicorns the entire thirty-one days but does the universe have to completely crap on my one special month a year? (And don’t come at me with Mother’s Day because you guys know better.)
So here we are. January 10th. Time to shape up, 2020. Dolores has plenty of material already.
Lol 2020 go so much worse
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well *that’s* for damn sure…who knew.
LikeLike
One of my favorite things is a poster for RA which reads, You don’t always have to be grateful it’s not worse. I kind of don’t believe that, thinking that perspective is VERY important to knocking out a pity party, but yeah, you don’t always have to be grateful it’s not worse. I’m used to my regular pain, a lot of us are — and when it flares up and I get new pains, I suffer terrible fear in addition to the pain. So I aim to be grateful my every day pain isn’t searing pain that tears me from focus. Pain lives on many levels in many areas of life. Losing three days to a stomach bug is ENOUGH to earn you the right to complain, FERSURE.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It sounds like a good poster to me although yes, sometimes I *am* grateful it’s not worse. I’m certainly grateful to have finally left that stomach bug behind, that’s for sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
No doubt.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reading your post makes me think we should move the first of the year to February. All the lousy stuff would happen that month, but it’d be the shortest month.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aha! That’s a brilliant plan!!
LikeLike
Ugh! I’m so sorry. That TOTALLY sucks!! Hope you feel better soon. No coffee AND no Moscato? That just ain’t right, universe. Straighten up!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah, the universe is blowing me an enormous raspberry these days. Bully!
LikeLike
There hasn’t been a day this year where I haven’t been sick, but I don’t think I faced what you have. Hope you feel better and show that illness who the boss is!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Paul, I’m hanging in there. Not gonna let some stinking bug keep me down. Well, except for when it keeps me down. But you get the gist. 😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
Tea, dear, tea. Not the same kick as coffee, not the same, period. But a hot cup of English Breakfast (caffeinated black tea) with a gob of sugar (or honey or substitute) and (for me) Dunkin’ Donuts Extra Extra cream in it and it’s a mighty good drink. Settles the stomach (if it’s rumbling) and is mild enough to not upset things. In the days when I drank coffee, I found that sometimes the caffeine would kick my butt vis a vis evoking too much acid in the stomach (a problem I have) and I’d be sick the rest of the day. I hope you feel better soon. That IS a sucky way to start a new year (decade) and horrible for a birthday month. 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
I must have caught your vibes this morning, Melanie, because I remembered the herbal tea I’ve got tucked away in a cabinet. Not caffeinated but I suspect that’s what’s causing such a problem. A nice dollop of honey stirred in and it was a nice enough substitute. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I would say so.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So you’d think spilling all this would have turned things around but the girl just called from school to say she dropped her laptop and now it won’t start up. Honestly! Can we just skip to February?
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hopefully you will turn the corner soon and find sunshine and roses. Heck, forget the roses – coffee is better. And you can create your own sunshine with wine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes! Keep the stinking roses, give me a light roast with almond creamer and I’ll be overjoyed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope you start feeling better. At least above the line where Dolores behaves and coffee (and alcohol) can once again be consumed.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m working off extremely reasonable hopes at the moment. Wine can be further off down the line, that’s fine. All I want is to be able to eat breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee without derailing my entire morning. Sheesh! 😆
LikeLiked by 1 person
the ‘no coffee’ is the last straw and the tipping point! here’s to the rest of the year being better
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right?!? It’s just, like…so OFFENSIVE. Okay, I can’t have tacos. Fine, I can’t have junk food. But my COFFEE?? Damn.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Aww, so sorry for all that you are facing. Hope you and kids get better soon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes I just have to get it all out there to start to make sense of it, you know? Thankfully the kiddo is looking a lot better — it’s those amazing restorative youth genes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Once it’s out of your mind, you can relax a bit. Kids bounce back way quickly than adults.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sorry that just been a nightmare for you. It makes me realise my start has been that bad at all. It’s staggering that you can still write so well. Sending you hugs and a stomach friendly coffee.
LikeLiked by 1 person
When I’m first coming out of an illness it’s always the worst — I miss blogging so much but know staring at a computer is the last thing I need. It’s always a relief when I can finally get back to writing again (even if the rest of life is a crapfest 😆).
LikeLiked by 1 person