1. A seat mate who a) takes off their shoes, b) peels off their sweaty socks, and c) props their feet up on the seat in front of me. Ew.
2. Somebody in the row behind me who never stops talking for even a single minute on a three hour flight. I guess it’s surprising this hasn’t happened already but honestly? I’m not sure how safe things would be if I couldn’t rest at all on a plane.
3. Loss of cabin pressure. Seeing those masks drop sounds panic inducing, even more so if I have junior members of the family along. Better than not having oxygen, I suppose, but still.
4. Accidentally finding myself locked onto a flight filled with operatic flight attendants.
5. An emergency water landing. I don’t care how many of those super duper perky flight attendant speeches I’ve heard, I absolutely positively do not want to locate the floatation device beneath my seat cushion after the plane’s crashed into the Atlantic.
6. Getting stranded for five hours on the tarmac without a working bathroom on board.
7. Somehow ending up on a flight going to the wrong destination. No, I have no idea how this could happen given they have about six different failsafes to prevent it but still – I can’t see myself handling things well if I find out I’m flying in the wrong freaking direction two hours into a flight.
8. A sixteen hour flight that only serves collard greens and tuna fish for dinner.
9. Big turbulence. Not “be careful opening overhead bins as items may have shifted in flight” turbulence. I mean more turbulence that flings passengers into ceilings and flight attendants down the aisles.
10. A lightning strike. I literally cannot wrap my brain around this one. Not.at.all.
I flew into lightning once. It was pretty. No rain. Dallas. I liked it. I’ve also experienced some sincere turbulence, and was impressed at the calisthenic abilities of the crew 😉 I have had excellent flight experiences, I don’t know why I don’t enjoy it more. It’s just so stuffy! And I don’t have wings, I’m not meant to fly around all willy-nilly. But the other choice is ships and NO.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh yes, between the two planes definitely take the prize. I’ll take event he worst turbulence over being seasick every single day. I haven’t flown through lightning, though — can’t say I’d be as okay with that one.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have vertigo and I don’t need seasickness.
LikeLike
Theses days, until the FAA and airlines retake the skies, you can add: being seated next to a person with a comfort animal and not being able to tell which one bathed last.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Bwahahahahahaha!! THIS.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Luckily, as a phobic flyer, I have never really had to deal with these. Once, though, when flying in to Baltimore in the winter, the runway was too icy so they had to turn around and go back to where we can from (VA Beach)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I vote better to turn around than skid off the side of an icy runway. Yikes. (And did you see the other John’s comment? If you weren’t phobic already…sheesh!!)
LikeLike
I have had all of these. In addition, I was on a plane where the right engine blew up. I mean pieces through the cabin, fire, and everything. Also on a 747 that was the target of a bomb threat. (Was a hoax but a little unnerving) On top of that on a flight that was caught by wind shear and flipped. The lightning is not bad since the plane is not touching the ground and sort of dissipates. The lightning does make little sparks on the skin of the plane. Thanks, for the memories.
LikeLiked by 1 person
OMG, John, HOW ARE YOU STILL LEAVING YOUR HOUSE?!? I’m completely freaked out just by your comment. You must have nerves of steel. 😳
LikeLiked by 1 person
Been called a calm one in the past.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I’ve had a few of these. The one about being stuck on the tarmac when you have to use the bathroom is one that is especially frustrating, because if you try and get up, the flight attendants will stop you and remind you that you’re on an active runway, even thought ain’t nothin’ been running for over an hour. What do they want you to do, wet your pants?
I’ve been in that “big turbulence” before, when Air Traffic Control had us fly through a thunderstorm rather than around it. The pilot did all he could to get out of it, it was the boneheads on the ground that made him fly through it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh.My.Word. I can’t process flying straight through a thunderstorm, I really can’t.
We had an episode on the tarmac. We were leaving to come home from vacation and my kid had been up all night before in the bathroom — some sort of intestinal bug — and when he gave me that panicked look I stared straight in that flight attendant’s eyes and said in no uncertain terms he WOULD be going to the bathroom unless they wanted to clean up an accident in the seats. Common sense reigned, at least that day.
LikeLike
In two weeks I’ll be on a plane fervently hoping none of those things happen. I did have the nonstop talking thing once – bad news it was my husband in the seat next to me talking to the guy next to him. He never went anywhere he couldn’t find someone to talk to, my husband.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ve found some excellent noise cancelling headphones that fix almost anything. It takes a pretty rowdy/loud travel neighbor to disrupt that technology. Here’s hoping you have a peaceful travel experience, Carol!
LikeLike
And you’ve listed ten more reasons why I’ll NEVER willingly get on a plane ever again! I hate flying. Small planes? Not ever going to happen, I flew in one of the smaller ‘jet planes’ once and once was plenty. Come to think of it, on THAT flight I got your three hour chatty cathy and friend. Drunk and horny are no way to go through life is all I’m saying. I was grateful the flight was at least pretty short.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The small jet planes are rough — I absolutely cannot imagine getting on one of those teeny private planes. Turbulence would toss those things like a salad!!
LikeLike
ah, the joys of flying
LikeLiked by 1 person
Too many to count, really
LikeLiked by 1 person
))
LikeLike
I don’t want that either. But some stuff is more frightening than other.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Oh yes. There’s yucky and then there’s terrifying. 😳
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, so we can tolerate yucky but absolutely aren’t ready for the terrifying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well that’s another few years without flying. Stinky feet done me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Right?! Eww.
LikeLiked by 1 person
How can someone even think their stinky feet would be acceptable to a neighbor. Ugh.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m amazed how many people have told me this happened to them. The level of selfishness required astounds me!
LikeLike