1. We want to go to dinner and a movie. Okay, I can do that. Details? I dunno. Well, find out and then we’ll talk.
2. Call #1: [psst, psst] “I don’t know, she wants to know where. But where? WHERE? Okay.” [hangs up] Brixx. But you won’t sit with us, right?
3. Um, no, that’s not how that works. You can’t roll in there and say yeah, one table for me and one for the teens, please. Try again.
4. Call #2: [psst, psst] “I know, but she says we can’t. No. So where else? I don’t know, what about [psst psst psst]? Maybe? Okay.” [hangs up] Buffalo Wild Wings.
5. Absolutely not. But mom – No. There’s not a single thing I can eat there, not one! If I’m gonna spend four hours with you people then I will at least be able to eat, for heaven’s sake. Find something else. [sigh]
6. Call #3: “Nope. Yeah, just nope. Okay but…hold on.” Chili’s? But you won’t sit at the table with us, right?
7 Oh, for pete’s sake, can’t you pick someplace normal? Chic-fil-a or Moe’s or anyplace where you just walk through a stupid line and get your food and I can sit on the other side of the restaurant? It’d be so much simpler…
8. Call #3 continued: [psst psst psst] She doesn’t want Moe’s, she has Mexican all the time, can’t we just do Chili’s? Sweet Jesus, take the wheel. “Fine!” [hangs up] Okay, Brixx, and you can sit with us.
9. Well, I don’t know if I want to sit with you now. I mean, it doesn’t sound like you’re going to be very welcoming…
10. So which movie? Fantasy Island. Huh. Okay. What’s that about? I dunno, she said it’s kinda spooky but not that bad.
(I’d like to go ON THE RECORD saying that’s not an accurate description of this film. Period.)