My knees are too bony to balance this laptop but I don’t have the heart to kick kitty off my lap.

narrator: two hours later…

Yes, I really am that girl. I’ll endure limbs going to sleep, horrible cricks in my neck, and back spasms for these furry critters once they settle themselves on me.

Things I’ve experienced while trapped beneath these adorably sweet fur babies:

** Deadly clouds of passed-in-their-sleep gas.

** An unreachable remote while Trump’s latest “news” conference replays on tv.

** Serious hunger pangs.

** Earsplitting yells coming from the game room.

** Incessant I’m done I’m done I’m done beeps from an appliance.

** Staring at the mountain of laundry/pile of bills/list of chores that will definitely not be getting done that day.

** Amazon deliveries at the front door, causing a terrified forty-five pound dog to hurtle herself from my lap in attack mode. And in case you were wondering, yes, it is possible to end up with long scratch stripes that become bruises right through your pants.