1. North Carolina just wrapped up its first week of a Phase One reopen. I have some feelings.
2. One of the requirements to begin Phase One is a 14-day downward trend in new confirmed COVID cases. From May 3 to May 7 new cases actually increased by 484. We reopened on May 8.
4. The new case count dropped on May 10 and 11. But there were 20 more cases May 11-12 then it went up another 169 between May 12-13.
5. I’m not sure what will happen once we see the real fallout from those crowded Mother’s Day weekend venues.
6. I’m not gonna drag you further down into the numbers here. Let’s just say we aren’t hitting all the necessary metrics for a reopen, and what happens next will say a lot about how much politics is influencing public health decisions.
7. My job got harder this week.
8. Because the state “reopened” and people are shopping and kids are hanging out and now I’m officially the least popular parent on the planet.
9. No, go on, step back. They’ve already crowned me and everything.
10. These kids don’t care that the numbers are still going up. They don’t care that the virus is still dangerous or that we’re reopening because the hospital has room now.
11. They only care that I won’t say yes to friends coming over.
12. I am so.freaking.tired.
13. I’m tired of being the weakest link. I’m tired of being the reason they can’t just be careful enough to get by.
14. I’m tired of feeling like dead weight.
15. And now I’m whining like some six-year-old who dropped her ice cream cone.
16. I miss grocery shopping. Do you know how stupid I feel missing grocery shopping?!
17. It’s like saying I miss getting my cavities drilled.
18. No, that’s not fair. I despise the dentist; grocery shopping was merely annoying.
19. Little did I know there’d come a time I’d look back with fondness on popping in my AirPods and losing ninety minutes.
20. BrightSide shops now but the sum knowledge I’ve gained over the years is impossible to impart on a Cozi list.
21. “2 avocados (ripe if give slightly when pressed gently with thumb)”
22. “Chicken broth base (next to broth in soup aisle)”
23. “Pepcid (berry flavor, I’ll text a pic)”
24. I won’t even bother trying to explain the thump and smell method mom taught me for testing cantaloupes. It’s an art, man.
25. Don’t get me wrong, he’s doing great, it’s just harder.
26. Plus ninety minutes all to myself…cue dream sequence music.
27. I dunno, though, people are kinda rude right now.
28. Seriously, I’ve heard at least four stories of parking lot road rage plus countless more about über grouchy shoppers in the stores.
29. I try to keep a cool head but given my sleep situation I wouldn’t trust myself not to toss that avocado right at someone’s head.
30. I talked about my sleep trouble already. It was bad. So, so bad.
31. But then I had this lovely stretch of better. I took melatonin, I put lavender in the diffuser, and things improved. Until Wednesday night.
32. Wednesday night all that jerk-awake-with-a-galloping-heartbeat stuff came roaring back with a vengeance.
33. To say it sucked is the understatement of the year. Here’s hoping Thursday night goes better.
34. I refuse to spend any more 2:00ams torturing myself in bed, though. I’ll entertain suggestions for insomniac activities now.
35. Kitchen stuff won’t work – it’s too noisy plus the smell of bacon or muffins has been known to pull young folks out of bed around here and there’s no way I’m dealing with other people at two in the morning.
36. I suppose I could take up juggling or yoga or interpretive dance. But if we’re honest it’s much more likely I’ll hurt myself trying to do any of those things while sleep deprived.
37. Perhaps we’ll just stick with coloring mandalas. That seems safe.
38. The one thing I absolutely, positively never do is open twitter. That thing sucks you right in. (If you have some random 3:00am retweet from me just let it pass as an anomaly, ‘k?)
39. Inevitably I stumble across some nonsense Trump is spouting and poof! there goes my blood pressure. Not at all conducive to going back to sleep.
40. So there you have it: no twitter, no juggling, and no activities that might involve pulling a muscle. Who’s got a 2:00am suggestion for me?