1. We’re getting there. I swear we’re getting there. I know we’ll get there.
2. This completes the positive self-talk portion of today’s post.
3. If you read yesterday’s post you know it’s already been a week of rain. Serious, all day, soaked-to-the-bone rain.
4. Thursday maintained the streak. We started the day wet then somehow managed to end the day wetter.
5. We could launch toy boats behind the house.
6. And now I’ve got thoughts of Stuart Little running though my head.
7. Those days teaching third grade reading come back at the strangest moments.
8. I didn’t really love Stuart Little. Didn’t hate it or anything, it just didn’t seem all that interesting.
9. I’m kind of picky about children’s literature. Sue me.
10. Best Facebook meme of the week: “This school year followed what we like to call the Harry Potter format, nice around Halloween, a bit weird by the holidays and all hell broken loose by the end of the term.”
11. You’ll never know how hard I’m fighting the urge to insert an Oxford comma in that thing.
12. Grammar nerds unite.
13. This makes me want to start rereading the Harry Potter series.
14. Well, it’s not like I don’t have the time.
15. Downside to the pandemic: “I don’t have time” really doesn’t work anymore.
16. Things I’ve definitely had time to do while homebound but haven’t: picked up Spanish lessons again, mowed the grass, or taken up yoga.
17. On the plus side I also haven’t taken up smoking or started happy hour by 1pm.
18. You gotta take the wins where you can.
19. Another downside: it’s nearly impossible to casually get off the phone now.
20. Other people have trouble ending phone calls, right? I can’t be the only one who struggles with this.
21. Pre-corona it was simpler. “I’m heading into a meeting.” “I’ve got an appointment.” “Bear’s got a game.”
22. Y’know, the usual.
23. But now we’re all home all the time and I pretty much suck at nonchalantly disengaging.
24. We can’t be good at everything. Turns out finishing calls/visits is my kryptonite.
25. What I really need is that thing magicians throw on the ground in front of them before they disappear in a cloud of smoke.
26. I could make mine purple. Jazz up my exit, y’know?
27. Now what I really need is a catch phrase to shout as I make my smokey escape.
28. Like “COVI-DISAPPEARANCE!” or “CORON-ARRIVEDERCI!”
29. Punny, but memorable.
30. I may be losing some of my social skills here.
31. I suspect we’ll all be a bit rusty by the time we gather up again.
32. We should probably hire spotters for a bit.
33. These would be folks who follow us around to help transition into post-corona interactions.
34. Forget your distancing and go in for a hug? Spotter dives between you and your friend with a nooooooooooo!
35. Coughing jag? Spotter slaps a mask across your face.
36. Reach to scratch an itchy eye? Spotter smacks your hand away with a Touching your FACE? Are you MAD?!?
37. Thinking outside the box will get us through.
38. Maybe, just maybe, we can train Gracie to be a corona support dog.
39. Given the right
motivation treats this fur baby will do anything. I can see her knocking someone backwards off their feet if they get too close.
40. That might be followed by her licking them into submission but we’re all gonna have to make sacrifices. A little Gracie slobber for the sake of staying healthy sounds like a fair tradeoff.