1. We’re getting there. I swear we’re getting there. I know we’ll get there.
2. This completes the positive self-talk portion of today’s post.
3. If you read yesterday’s post you know it’s already been a week of rain. Serious, all day, soaked-to-the-bone rain.
4. Thursday maintained the streak. We started the day wet then somehow managed to end the day wetter.
5. We could launch toy boats behind the house.
6. And now I’ve got thoughts of Stuart Little running though my head.
7. Those days teaching third grade reading come back at the strangest moments.
8. I didn’t really love Stuart Little. Didn’t hate it or anything, it just didn’t seem all that interesting.
9. I’m kind of picky about children’s literature. Sue me.
10. Best Facebook meme of the week: “This school year followed what we like to call the Harry Potter format, nice around Halloween, a bit weird by the holidays and all hell broken loose by the end of the term.”
11. You’ll never know how hard I’m fighting the urge to insert an Oxford comma in that thing.
12. Grammar nerds unite.
13. This makes me want to start rereading the Harry Potter series.
14. Well, it’s not like I don’t have the time.
15. Downside to the pandemic: “I don’t have time” really doesn’t work anymore.
16. Things I’ve definitely had time to do while homebound but haven’t: picked up Spanish lessons again, mowed the grass, or taken up yoga.
17. On the plus side I also haven’t taken up smoking or started happy hour by 1pm.
18. You gotta take the wins where you can.
19. Another downside: it’s nearly impossible to casually get off the phone now.
20. Other people have trouble ending phone calls, right? I can’t be the only one who struggles with this.
21. Pre-corona it was simpler. “I’m heading into a meeting.” “I’ve got an appointment.” “Bear’s got a game.”
22. Y’know, the usual.
23. But now we’re all home all the time and I pretty much suck at nonchalantly disengaging.
24. We can’t be good at everything. Turns out finishing calls/visits is my kryptonite.
25. What I really need is that thing magicians throw on the ground in front of them before they disappear in a cloud of smoke.
26. I could make mine purple. Jazz up my exit, y’know?
27. Now what I really need is a catch phrase to shout as I make my smokey escape.
28. Like “COVI-DISAPPEARANCE!” or “CORON-ARRIVEDERCI!”
29. Punny, but memorable.
30. I may be losing some of my social skills here.
31. I suspect we’ll all be a bit rusty by the time we gather up again.
32. We should probably hire spotters for a bit.
33. These would be folks who follow us around to help transition into post-corona interactions.
34. Forget your distancing and go in for a hug? Spotter dives between you and your friend with a nooooooooooo!
35. Coughing jag? Spotter slaps a mask across your face.
36. Reach to scratch an itchy eye? Spotter smacks your hand away with a Touching your FACE? Are you MAD?!?
37. Thinking outside the box will get us through.
38. Maybe, just maybe, we can train Gracie to be a corona support dog.
39. Given the right motivation treats this fur baby will do anything. I can see her knocking someone backwards off their feet if they get too close.
40. That might be followed by her licking them into submission but we’re all gonna have to make sacrifices. A little Gracie slobber for the sake of staying healthy sounds like a fair tradeoff.
Riddle from the Middle 
Bravo. Funny stuff.
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I have the perfect “end this freakin’ phone call’ solution. I simply don’t pick the %$#!* thing up in the first place. Downside? Concerned friends or relatives may show IN PERSON (oh the humanity and horror) on your doorstep to make sure you haven’t popped your clogs. Well not YOU, Laura, you’re too young plus you have peeps right there at home to make sure you haven’t died and nobody noticed. Me? They would do well to check. And I’m still not answering the phone! 😛
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I’ll help you carry that comma to its proper place. The rest of the world can pretend it’s okay to ignore the comma before the “and” but not I!
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Right?! Makes me think of my copy of “Eats, Shoots and Leaves” on the shelf. Punctuation saves lives, people!!
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Ah will the comma even make sense in the age of conveniently rearranging data ? What will be next sentence structure ? Or is the comma a grammatical distancer that we have all gotten used to and now mostly ignore ? There is no telling what might happen should those phrases commingle ! Getting back to conveniently rearranging data rumor has it there will be special edition calendars published in Florida to flatten the curve of the work week. Mondays and humpdays have been cleverly hidden locations. Said locations will only be published in certain left leaning states. And only in the interest of eliminating leaning. Well it is almost happy hour, gotta go !
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Other people might roll by my comma but I say stop and breathe, it’s the only way to make sense of things. I can’t even write a stupid text skipping a comma if it needs it. My kids just laugh but English majors have limits.
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Maddie is the perfect pandemic dog. No one within 60 feet, and that’s if she’s in a good mood. As for Gracie slobber, I remember being told it was ok to let the dog lick my scraped-up legs – “let Tipi lick it, that will help it heal.” Maybe those days contributed to a natural immunity.
Take care. Good luck trying to be (I’m guessing here) the anchor dragging behind the good ship OpenUpAndReturnToNormal. Slow and steady wins the race.
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This pandemic is Maddie’s jam! At least someone in your house is over the moon about permanent isolation. 😆 Maddie can rest easy knowing her slobber has restorative powers as you circle the wagons over there. I’ll continue dragging my big old anchor self through these insane waters.
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I’m glad to read you’re floating along well in your arc along with your magnificent sense of humor leading us all into week 11! Happy comma inserting to you! 😉
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Happy comma inserting indeed! 🙂
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I went out to ups store yesterday, and I had to be reminded about the card swiping! Out of touch is so spot on.
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We’ll be rusty on so many things. 🙂
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I know!!
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I’m on Team Oxford Comma. Join us, we are a friendly group. Go ahead and insert that comma. 🤓
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I want so so so much to do it. SO MUCH. Let’s just say you’ll never catch a string of three things in my writing without one because inconceivable!
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