1. It’s been super heavy on the blog this week. Ten-ton-anvil kind of heavy.
2. So I’ll stick to light-ish. TGIF and all that jazz.
3. I find it hard to believe we’re wrapping up week eleven of corona times.
4. Lockdown, phase one, phase two – folks are busy tracking numbers and arguing mask effectiveness.
5. It’s good times in the old U.S. of A.
6. Our governor held his press conference this week. Numbers are up.
7. He points out that’s why we’re in phase two. Maybe he means that’s why we’re in a modified phase two. Or maybe he’s trying to prepare people for a longer phase two.
8. Hard to say since governors are afraid residents will lose their shit if they straight up say yeah, it’s bad, just buckle down through the summer, okay?
9. Case in point: North Carolina is under an order limiting outdoor gatherings to 25 people.
10. Which of course means the racetrack ten miles away hosted thousands of fans, most without masks, for Memorial Day weekend.
11. Say it with me: WTF.
12. So it turns out our city has the highest daily average growth rate of deaths in the U.S. The numbers themselves don’t look horrifying since we’re smallish but still.
13. What could possibly cause that sort of exponential covid-19 death rate? Let me see…
14. Maybe because of stuff like thousands of people partying at some freaking racetrack during corona times.
16. I promised to keep it light but I’ve gotta say I’m watching the news tonight and there are cities burning and damn if this thing isn’t spinning out of control.
17. Tried making more fried chicken in the air fryer and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to keep it from sticking to the bottom of the basket.
18. Don’t get me wrong, it’s yummy, but it’s a bummer to leave half the delicious crunchy coating behind.
19. ps – I was 49 years old when I learned the buttermilk/hot sauce mixture is what makes fried chicken da bomb.
20. Pretty sure that wasn’t news to a bunch of you.
21. Guess you can tell I wasn’t raised in the south.
22. I’m late to the game but now I’m all in.
23. Listen, guys, can I brag on Target for a minute?
24. The kiddo got a gift card for her birthday and enjoyed a little online shopping spree. Being fourteen it was a strange assortment in her cart but whatevs, she had a blast.
25. Her package didn’t come for about a week because corona-days-mail, and when it arrived? Woo boy, there are no words.
26. That box looked like it had been dropped off a roof onto the loading dock, dragged behind the truck, opened and resealed at the wrong house, survived a flash flood, then punted across the yard onto our porch.
27. It was S-A-D. I figured there was no way anything survived and a 50/50 chance something scary would pop out when I opened it.
28. In some sort of May miracle only two items were damaged in transit. Here’s where the bragging comes in.
29. I’m not doing retail right now which meant I’d be at the mercy of some customer service rep to help us.
30. Cue a Target chat – HOLLA, DANIEL! – with the kindest rep ever. He said he didn’t want us to go to the trouble of returning the damaged items and put in a replacement order. Done and done.
31. You know your nerves are raw when you cry over good customer service, but seriously? You’re not gonna insist I go into your store to return a crushed bottle?
32. You are my new best friend.
33. I know, I know, lots of folks say that about Target but they made my week.
34. For what it’s worth I’ve also had fabulous customer service with Williams Sonoma.
35. Gotta share the good news, too.
36. It’s after midnight now and I’m not entirely sure if I go to bed that these cities will be standing in the morning.
37. So what’s 2020 brought so far?
38. Food shortages, vulnerable population shopping hours, and empty shelves where toilet paper should be.
39. Mandatory homeschool, Zoom dominance, hippie hair, and 100% togetherness 100% of the time.
40. And now we’ve got protests, riots, and cities burning but hey, at least the ABC stores are still open. Margaritas anybody?