Have I been watching it? No, not per se. Have I seen some here and there? Yeah. And I’ve got some thoughts on the matter.

Disclaimer: We’re shooting from the hip here. If you’re looking for data driven analysis you’re in the wrong place.


I actually saw part of the convention on Monday night and it was…well, let’s call it an experience. A few observations, in no particular order:

**  The Republicans have a lot of women with long blond hair speaking. Like, a lot. Is this a requirement for representing the conservative right? Do these women all go to the same hairstylist? Is there a specified range of acceptable Clairol colors?

**  The phrase “my Lord and Savior” gets tossed around like popcorn when these women are trying to rile a crowd. Funny ’cause I didn’t think Jesus was down with that sort of name dropping.

**  Falling under the “isn’t that malpractice” category was the woman diagnosed with terminal bone cancer who alleged her doctor said attempting treatment would make her a drain on her family and society at large so she should just go ahead and die. Apparently PRESIDENT TRUMP AND HER LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST – in that order – saved her life.

**  That was a common thread actually. There seems to be a whole lot of worshipping at the Donald Trump altar going on in the Republican party, heaven help us all.

**  Mark and Patty McCloskey made a doomsday video declaring dramatically – and I paraphrase – the radical Democrats’ mobs will come for you next because in Joe Biden’s America first they take your guns and then they take your children’s safety and then they take YOUR ENTIRE LIVES. Good Lord.

The rest of my coverage so far has spanned a scattered combination of twitter and NPR. I do best with blips or audio-only.

**  Melania Trump took a shot at looking compassionate. The words seemed shiny but it’s a hard sell after her “I really don’t care. Do U?” jacket or the birtherism racist attacks on Obama. Even more ridiculous was her comment that “Total honesty is what we as citizens deserve from our president.” Sounds an awful lot like one of those coded messages kidnap victims put in their ransom videos…

**  Trump staging a naturalization ceremony at the White House reminds me of that story about the frog and the scorpion.

**  And just let me say how thrilled I am that part of Pompeo’s taxpayer funded trip to Jerusalem was spent taping a diplomat’s pitch to evangelicals for the Republican party.

**  THE HATCH ACT. Don’t let them distract you, none of this is normal.


**  Also Republicans: Now sit there quietly while we round up people exercising their first amendment right to protest.

**   Pence: Officer Dave Underwood was KILLED in those California riots. (mouths silently: by a far-right white Boogaloo boy)

**  The sheer volume of gaslighting here should catapult their followers into an alternate universe. Believing even one-tenth of this convention requires a suspension of disbelief worthy of children convinced they can fly after watching Peter Pan.

**  As some random speaker at the GOP convention might drawl: “I’ve lived here all my life, y’all, and nobody’s done more for this country than Donald J. Trump. Those liberal haters keep trying to bring him down with their pussy-grabbing tape recordings and porn star payoffs and ridiculous impeachment hoaxes. They can’t stand to see a strong, virile, God-loving, freakishly “tan” man sitting in this White House that okay, might have been built by Black slaves but it was out of a love for this country they were blessed to work in…anyway, join me right now to pledge your blind loyalty/hefty donation/teenage daughter vote for our next president and, the good Lord willing, if we can get sixteen more years, our last president, DONALD TRUMP. Amen and hallelujah!”