1. Guys, I’m sorry, every time I try to clear my head the world implodes.
2. Heading into Friday 40 I was like alright, no ‘rona, no Trump, no debate talk. Do something fun.
3. Then the FBI arrested Michigan-based militia members plotting to kidnap Governor Whitmer.
4. It sounded like your garden variety crazy headline until they released details.
5. At a meeting in June the group discussed plans for assaulting the Michigan State Capitol, countering law enforcement, and using Molotov cocktails to destroy police vehicles.¹
6. Then the plot evolved into storming the governor’s vacation home, blowing up a nearby bridge, and grabbing or outright killing Whitmer.¹
7. Let’s recap. A group of white men armed to the teeth with weapons and tactical gear talk about murdering “tyrants” or “taking” a sitting governor to a “secure location” and holding a “trial.” Where else do we see armed insurrectionists snatching government officials out of their homes and executing them?
8. What’s that now about how Black Lives Matter is a terrorist organization?
9. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LIGHTHEARTED WITH THIS KIND OF CRAZY GOING ON.
10. Sigh. Okay. No ‘rona, no Trump, no debate talk. Let’s go.
11. Time is doing that whole slow-as-molasses-gone-in-a-flash thing. It’s seriously disorienting.
12. I mean, how can it be Friday already? I feel like we just rolled into the week.
13. There’ve been some highlights. “I’m speaking” and a rogue fly being two of them.
14. There’ve been some low spots but I’m skipping those.
15. Freak it all if the road crew wasn’t back this week. Only for a couple of days but it was enough to throw Phoebe into turmoil.
16. Part of me is grateful I can usually snuggle her back into relaxing.
17. The rest of me hates that she’s inconsolable while I’m out of the house.
18. Timeout for tiny debate commentary: Pence interrupting or speaking overtime made every woman listening want to throw a brick through the tv.
19. I managed to suppress the urge.
20. I imagine BrightSide is grateful for that.
21. I got my flu shot this week.
22. I’m one of those people who gets it every year but for sure I wasn’t messing around with 2020 flu season. My achy arm and neck muscles have shown up right on time. Ugh.
23. I cannot believe I walked out of CVS without a bag of candy. I knew what was coming, I really should have pre-loaded the sugar supply.
24. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you end up sucking down a Cook Out milkshake at 8:30pm.
25. Now we’ll enter the purely opinionated portion of this week’s 40 things.
26. Truly glorious cheese fries require ranch dipping sauce. I cannot entertain arguments on this.
27. Kamala’s side eye game at the debate was EVERYTHING.
28. Having a teen driver in the family is equal parts terrifying and hey, T, I need you to pick up a milkshake for me on your way home.
29. My gym reopened. Are there really people working out indoors right now??
30. I live in a place where I can get the mail in bare feet in October. It’s nice.
31. Of course it’s also hellfire hot in June/July/August/part of September. That’s not so nice.
32. It may have been eighty degrees yesterday but the calendar says autumn. Bring on the soup!
33. I made this one last weekend and T-man ate four bowls. Love it.
34. Being able to play basketball is overrated.
35. Yes, I know I can be ejected from the state for that. I said what I said.
36. It may have something to do with being laughed at while playing PIG.
37. I am neither interested in keeping up with the Kardashians nor falling for Love Island.
38. I’m knee deep in a “24” marathon and will now be delivering everyday phrases in classic Jack Bauer style.
38a. DAMMIT. I forgot to start the potatoes.
38b. DAMMIT, Amazon should have delivered that hours ago!
38c. THE WORLD IS GOING TO END IF I DON’T GET THIS CODE TO THE PRESIDENT BY NOON, DAMMIT. (Okay, I might not need that one but I’ve got the gravitas down.)
39. Bacon. I know I shouldn’t eat it but still. Bacon.
40. Welcome to another weekend with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Ah, downtime in Corona Days.
¹ Cheney, Kyle, and Nick Niedzwiadek. “FBI Reveals Elaborate Plot by Michigan Militia Members to Kidnap Whitmer.” POLITICO, POLITICO, 9 Oct. 2020, http://www.politico.com/news/2020/10/08/gretchen-whitmer-kidnapping-plot-michigan-427953.