1. You know I had to do it. One final debate, Biden and Trump, head to metaphorical head (am I using that right?).
2. But you’ve already voted, Laura. What difference does tonight make? For me? Technically none.
3. It’s a little like one of those train wrecks you can’t look away from. I know what Trump’s advisors are recommending, I just don’t know if he’ll pull it off without his head imploding. We shall see.
4. Seven minute countdown now and the talking heads are doing this Biden-Hillary Clinton comparison. Clinton gets talked about a lot for someone who’s not in this race. Just sayin’.
5. Here we go! God be with you, Kristen Welker. Women moderators have had a time in this one.
6. Two minutes uninterrupted. It’s almost like, I don’t know, REAL DEBATE rules will be followed.
7. How to lead on COVID? Trump: 2.2 million were predicted to die. So “you’re lucky I didn’t kill more of you” is his approach? I’m not impressed.
8. Asked for a COVID plan and Trump rambles…well, something but I can’t call it a plan.
9. Is this even an answer to the question? And I’m gonna need a doctor’s affidavit saying they told you you’re immune. Not buying it.
10. Biden’s thirty seconds into his first uninterrupted answer. Trump is quietly taking notes. So far so good.
11. Okay, smart of Trump not to guarantee a hard deadline for the vaccine, that’s gotten him in trouble in the past. He’s still saying it’s coming before the end of the year, though. Kristen’s not letting that pass. Props for the follow up.
12. Can we stop talking about banning flights from China and xenophobia?
13. Also that Biden was “months behind me.” What exactly was a private citizen who didn’t hold public office supposed to do to stop COVID??
14. Trump would “love” to lock himself in a basement? Is that an option? WHY DIDN’T ANYONE SAY THAT WAS AN OPTION?
15. It would be nice not to have a president saying COVID’s going away when a thousand people die daily.
16. I’m enjoying the real time fact checking here. This moderator is nailing it.
17. Holy shit, Trump, STOP SAYING YOUNG PEOPLE WHO CATCH COVID WILL BE FINE. Parents who’ve lost their kids are watching this.
18. Hey, New York, he’s claiming you. “My wonderful city.” I can practically hear their collective F off from here.
19. “We have the best testing in the world by far – that’s why we have so many cases!” Are we still on this? Paging science, please.
20. And there it is – “We beat Hilary Clinton.” Does she get royalties for this?
21. I’ll say it. I’m impressed they’re both holding their tongues here. I don’t know if there’s medication involved or what but they’re holding it back.
22. Can someone tell me how long an audit takes? Trump was using this line four years ago.
23. He’s pulling out the tiny violin a lot tonight. Nobody has ever been treated as bad as I am. The IRS treats me worse than the Tea Party. Boo hoo, show us your returns.
24. Is anyone else exhausted by the “his son” approach? Is Biden’s son running for office? Did I miss the memo?
25. “It’s not about his family and my family, it’s about your family.” AMEN. Preach, Biden, preach.
26. Trump: “What will you do if 20 million people lose their insurance overnight?” Well, first let me go into this ridiculously long backstory that has nothing to do with answering your specific question until you forget what you asked okay let’s all go for burgers.
27. Biden: “What will you do…” First, I’ll pass healthcare with a public option… Wait. So he’s outlining an actual plan. It’s almost like there IS an actual plan.
28. Okay, my blood pressure is lower since Trump isn’t interrupting every ten seconds but I’m super irritated because this calm measured pace makes his irresponsive answers grating.
29. The VP wants it Bernie Sanders wants it they’re gonna have it and they wanna stop fracking – did any of that have to do with healthcare? NOPE.
30. There it is again. Why are we talking about Bernie? “He thinks he’s running against someone else. He’s running against JOE BIDEN.” File this under things you wouldn’t think you’d have to point out in a presidential debate but here we are.
31. I’m sorry but this man is nothing but word vomit all over his mic. I cannot believe people put him in charge of our country.
32. Segment suggestion: A conference call where good old Mitch explains why he couldn’t get the Hero Act from the summer House session through the Senate.
33. No, $7.25 an hour is not a living wage if you’re trying to pay for anything more than the movies on date night.
34. We’ve lost the parents for more than 500 kids. “How will you reunite these kids with their parents, Mr. President? Do you have a plan?” Short answer: No.
35. I agree. It is criminal.
36. Race in America and The Talk. Here we go.
37. Biden: Yes, I understand why they’re afraid.
37. “With the exception of Abraham Lincoln – possibly – nobody has done more for Black Americans than Donald Trump.” Um, you missed the point. Except I guess you didn’t because you can’t rally MAGAs if you’re admitting the BLM movement has a point.
38. 10:16pm There’s the laptop. I thought we might make it through. SO CLOSE.
39. “I am the Least Racist Person in this room.” Pro tip: Saying this is like holding up a huge flashing neon “RACIST” sign.
40. I’m not ashamed to admit Biden’s answer to “It’s Inauguration Day. What would you say to the people who didn’t vote for you?” brought tears to my eyes. I need this for our country again.