1.  Can we get a show of hands for how many people gave/got some sort of tech for the holidays? And how many of you ended up on a support call trying to get said tech to work? Anybody? Everybody?

2.  Welcome, my people. This post is for you.

3.  As I start writing this I’m heading towards hour three on a support call Sunday. That’s after four hours – count ’em, FOUR – on Saturday trying to fix an issue with our phone company. I don’t see this ending anytime soon so I figure I’ll have logged overtime when it’s all through. If it’s ever through. I’m starting to doubt it. You might have to bury me with this phone attached to my ear.

4.  Just kidding. I know nobody pays overtime anymore.

5.  Yesterday’s adventure started with a phone rep’s simple slip up on a call that has now sucked seven+ hours of my life away. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’ve never made a mistake. I’ve made some doozies. This particular keystroke, though, apparently sent us spiraling into an AT&T black hole from which not even the most senior tech support people can rescue us.

6.  But mama didn’t raise a quitter so let’s go. Can we create a new line? Well, nope, because those IDs are already assigned to a number on the account. Okay, then can we delete those lines and just start fresh? Not as of hour seven we can’t. Apparently a “pending” designation is the impenetrable superhero armor of phone company land. This is the stuff legends are made of.

Side note: Can we talk about how I can accidentally delete entire documents with a slip of the thumb on my keyboard but I can’t tap that box on our account home screen and select delete? What kind of sense does this make??

7.  I will say a wee bit of my faith in humanity was restored when my call dropped at the two hour thirty minutes mark and the representative I was speaking with (#3 so far that day) actually called me back. Seriously, that guy deserves a latte. And a Ferrari. And maybe a royal title to boot. Just saying.

8.  It’s been three and a half hours now, at least half of that waiting on hold, and I’m beginning to lose the will to live. I dozed off to blaring hold music twice. One ankle is asleep – I thought sitting cross legged to give Mia a lap would lower my blood pressure but after an hour of pressing into the carpet the pain is taking over. Writing this blog post will maybe save my sanity as I listen to a recording tell me for the thousandth time “Admit it, we’ve all been tempted to reach for our phones while driving. To take that selfie, answer an email, or like a post…” Seriously? People are tempted to take selfies while driving?! For the love of all things holy.

9.  So just to recap: four hours on Saturday that included two phone reps, three disconnected calls, two chat sessions, and a trip to the actual AT&T store followed by a Sunday call that started in tech support, transferred to customer care, and transferred to a supervisor followed by a botched attempt to transfer to a manager only to land back in the customer care queue where I held for no less than ninety minutes on a transfer back to the tech department.

10.  And there you have it. The Sunday call that started at 10:00am by some Christmas miracle came to an end at 4:00pm and I’m not ashamed to admit I teared up more than a little because a) I could finally eat something and b) I wouldn’t have to explain to a fifteenth person what was wrong with our account. It’s finally fixed, praise the Lord and pass the pudding.