1.  Remember those last days of December? I was adorable, counting down the hours, determined to make it to January and start off with a clean slate. I was more than ready to leave 2020 behind. (AKA Let’s grab some gas cans and matches and burn this whole freaking thing to the ground.)

2.  Those were good times.

3.  I have this stack of Christmas cards on my end table – smaller than in a typical year, granted, but still actual holiday cards that real people managed to design, order, address, and mail in The Year Of Our Lord 2020. It’s impressive. I get it, they’re just cards, but these are the people I’d call on in the apocalypse to rebuild civilization because their multitasking skills are on point.

4.  Back in the holiday season I knew my multitasking skills were shot so I hatched a master plan: design a WELCOME TO 2021! card to mail out after the new year. Something fun and pithy to mark the occasion of surviving the craziest damn year in recent memory.

5.  Then I actually rolled into 2021 and came to a shrieking halt because what the hell would I put on those New Year Greetings anyway?

6.  You thought 2020 was off the rails? Wait ’til you see what the universe cooked up for this one.

7.  Welcome to the New Year. We’re gonna kick this thing off with big old flash bangs in the nation’s Capitol. Woo hoo!

8.  Welcome to 2021 where the white supremacists tighten ranks and the rest of us circle the wagons. DO YOU HAVE YOUR EMERGENCY SUPPLIES STOCKED??

9.  2021. You got five whole days before they tried to overthrow the government, what more do you want? Sheesh.

10.  You see the problem. If only I’d gotten on this project right away, say, January 2nd or 3rd. Back when we were still juggling the – ahem – “normal” amount of crazy. Now that we’re decidedly past any semblance of normalcy it’s looking like I’ll be waiting on those cards after all.