1. Bear and I were hanging out on the front porch yesterday morning. She was doing her nails, I was holding a squirmy Seven, all was right and good with the world.
2. I’m sure Seven would have thought things were right-er and good-er had he been able to explore the yard but we don’t have a harness for him so that was a no go.
3. Anyway, we spilled a little something on the table out there. Okay, fine, I wasn’t the one who spilled it. And technically it wasn’t a little something; technically it was nail polish remover that began eating its way through the bottom of its plastic bowl.
4. Yes, I’m sure if I paid better attention in science class somewhere along the way I would have known that was going to happen. Bygones.
5. Bear wiped it up and moved inside to finish her nails while I emptied the dishwasher but a little voice inside my head wouldn’t shut up about the porch.
6. I popped my head out and checked the table and things looked…off. My heart jumped into my throat because dang it all, did we really ruin the porch table because I didn’t know enough science??
7. That’s when I remembered: we live in the pollen capital of the country. Or at least the southeast.
8. I wet some paper towels and went outside. One swipe and my suspicion was confirmed — she’d cleaned the part of the table with the spill but that left half with a whole layer of dirt/pollen/who knows what else.
9. You know things are bad when the first wipe of a paper towel turns it brown top to bottom. Gross. Seriously gross. WHY IS NATURE SO GROSS SOMETIMES??
10. I killed a few trees cleaning up the mess but eventually the table at least looked like a single color again. The most distressing part is if I went out there today with a bucket and sponge I’m sure I’d find that table isn’t really clean at all. Spring in North Carolina, man…the struggle is real.