1. It’s a balmy 2,000 degrees in North Carolina and my fifty-year-old self has packed some surprises this summer.
2. Turns out my scalp burns now. After decades of not having to worry about what people called “Too Much Sun” I’ve joined the lobster crowd.
3. I can accept the high sun hours as problematic. I mean, I got what I deserved after going from noon to four without a hat, right? But when Bear and I popped by a morning rally it never occurred to me to worry about burning.
4. It was nine in the freaking morning and we were done by 10:15, for Pete’s sake. A nice lady in the crowd offered up sunscreen and I slicked some on my cheeks with a this is just silly carelessness.
5. Did I think to spray it along my part? Nope. Did the sun turn me a pretty punch pink atop my noggin? Yep.
6. What else, what else… Apparently my metabolism has packed up and left the building.
7. My kid can weed for two hours and roll on; I weed for fifteen minutes and go to bed with an achy back that night.
8. Nobody tells you that hormonal breakouts are a thing. Or sleep issues. Or that you can go from singing your favorite jam to road rage impulses in the blink of an eye.
9. The fallout from time outdoors lasts weeks now instead of days. Snuffling is the new national pastime.
10. Last but not least, not drinking enough water gives me a hangover now. Seriously? Because that seems fair.