1. Octopus. Sometimes they’ll sell some at the seafood counter, their little suckers pressed up against the plastic wrap holding them in the package. Absolutely not.
2. The McRib at McDonald’s. I can get down with their fries all day long but the McRib looks like some sort of processed meat travesty on a bun.
3. Pickled pigs feet. Did you know you can buy these in a giant jar? Have you seen them??
4. Turducken. A friend told me about these once — it’s a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey — and since I’m American I didn’t even bat an eye. But seeing a photo of the thing? Gotta say I’m a little thrown.
5. Doughnut burgers. Just the thought of biting into a juicy burger stacked between two glazed doughnuts is enough to make me gag just a little. Imagining burger juices soaking into said doughnut…well, that’s just the nail in the coffin for me.
6. Deep fried butter. Yes, this is really a thing. And yes, it sounds like a heart attack on a plate. It also sounds kind of gross.
7. Chicken fried steak. Sometimes served on a bun, sometimes covered in gravy — I live in the south so this is on a whole lot of menus here but I gotta say I feel no need to try a battered and fried piece of meat.
8. Duck. In any form. I know, I know, plenty of folks talk about their favorite duck dish “you’d love it if you try it” but I can’t stop picturing them bopping along behind their mama ducks on the pond.
9. Ditto for lamb. Not the water, obviously, but the baby animal part is a tough hurdle for me.
10. Cauliflower as a substitute for anything. Cauliflower crust, cauliflower rice, cauliflower tacos, cauliflower mashed potatoes, cauliflower hummus…if the food’s so bad for me it needs a vegetable to tag in then I’ll just skip it altogether, thank you very much.