Before we get started let me fess up right here and now: Linda noted we should be sure to add a disclaimer up top if our post is NSFW and I’m all NSFW? What’s NSFW?

Cue google. Go ahead, try it.

Bwahahahaha!!!!

Sorry, had to be done. I’m fairly certain my post will be entirely safe for work as long as your boss doesn’t mind you reading blogs on your down time.

I will say Linda tossed a softball my way with “body parts” except in what world do all of you want to read about my achy, tired, cranky knee and enraged back? No world, that’s the one. So it looks like we’re taking the nontraditional route here.

I’m fairly certain I have the bumpiest, knobbiest, gawkiest knees on the planet. I always have but I hoped at some point I’d grow out of it. Like maybe dorky knobby knees are a rite of middle school, sometimes they even drag into high school, but surely legs will even out post-graduation…And it turns out that’s a big fat no. My knobby knees followed me straight into adulthood then into middle age and beyond.

I see women with these flowing gazelle legs and they’re like — well, at the risk of sounding weird it’s like water flowing gently downhill. Soft, simple movements without any weird angles. I’m betting if they have to kneel down and grab something from under the bed they don’t have sharp shooting pains…ladies with the gazelle legs are lucky indeed.

Linda hosts Stream of Consciousness Saturday. This week’s prompt is “body parts.” Pick a body part and talk about it.