1.  Sooouupp, glorious soooouuupp.

2.  Specifically a chicken detox soup, broccoli cheddar soup, buffalo chicken soup, and creamy chicken soup.

3.  Yeah, it’s been that sort of week.

4.  Is four soups too many? I vote no. And seeing as I’m the one cooking…

5.  One foolhardy soul commented on the week’s menu thus far and frankly they’re lucky I didn’t toss a spatula their way then leave the room.

6.  Don’t diss the cook, man.

7.  And who doesn’t love bowls of warm deliciousness? But fine, then, I guess I can make some plated food.

8.  Not tomorrow, though. Tomorrow I’m tied up 4:30-6:30pm and that makes dinner plans complicated.

9.  Saturday we’ve got a school thing to go to.

10.  So Sunday then. Sunday I can make some plated food.

11.  Perhaps with a side of soup.

12.  My week has been eventful for other reasons besides culinary choices. On Tuesday morning I got my teeth cleaned — good times, folks. Good.Times.

13.  Anyone else spend their entire cleaning talking themselves out of a panic attack? No? Just me?

14.  It starts with x-rays. It’s near impossible to fit those dang film holders in my mouth, then as they carve into my gums I’m frantically giving myself a pep talk that goes a little like this:

15.  Just breathe. You’re almost done. I’m pretty sure nobody’s ever died from getting x-rays at the dentist. JUST BREATHE.

16.  I divide the rest into thirds, each with their own talk-myself-down-off-the-ledge inner monologue.

17.  Sharp poking instrument: Ow. Ow. Try to — OW — breathe. Is she doing this on purpose? Because OW.

18.  Spinning polish brush: Okay, I’m a third of the way through. Polishing isn’t that bad. Except the grit. And the sound. And the feeling that I’m about to drown in my own spit. It’s okay, though, I can do this.

19.  Floss: Two-thirds down, I’m almost there, I just have to hang on — OH MY GOD IS SHE TRYING TO SHOVE THAT FLOSS INTO MY BRAIN OR WHAT.

20.  Every time.

21.  In case a cleaning wasn’t fun enough the special holiday bonus is — wait for it — my very own root canal!

22.  Because nothing says Deck The Halls like traumatizing dental work.

23.  So Tuesday’s news wasn’t great. But Wednesday morning? Well, Wednesday morning brought a knee injection.

24.  Yes, I’ve already had one of those, it was a steroid injection for swelling/pain. This particular doozy was a gel injection.

25.  Because I am ancient middle aged and ridiculously unlucky, well, me I’ve learned I have a fair amount of arthritis under my kneecap. Turns out arthritis hurts. Like, a lot.

26.  So the plan is this gel will give me the cushion I need so that joint stops aching. (I know…ancient.) But have you ever had a gel injection? It’s a whole thing.

27.  The CNA sprayed my knee with a topical numbing agent so the doc could insert the first needle and inject numbing medicine into my knee.

28.  Yep, you heard me right. The FIRST needle.

29.  About this time he asked if I was doing okay and I said yes. Then I added, “Well, ‘yes’ is my default answer but I’m not on the floor so I guess we’re good.”

30.  Per his procedure description the doctor left the first needle in place as a guide — I kept my big old eyeballs averted because while I’m not typically squeamish I wasn’t certain how I’d feel seeing a spare needle bob around while he worked. Ain’t nobody got time for passing out in the doctor’s office, folks.

31.  Then he inserted the second needle (nope, still wasn’t looking) to inject the gel. Fun fact about these gels: they are by nature viscous.

32.  You know what doesn’t move through a needle quickly? A thick, sticky gel designed to cushion the kneecap.

33.  That was the longest damn injection of my life. It felt a bit like trying to force a king sized pillow into a double sized pillow case so…not great. Not the worst thing I’ve ever done but still. Not great.

34.  By the time he’s done my leg and foot are numb yet somehow my knee is throbbing. That seems like some sort of medical paradox but there it is.

35.  On Wednesday I had knee and needle pain, if that makes sense. Thursday was all knee pain — kind of stiff, lots of pressure, really not happy going up and down stairs.

36.  It’s supposed to feel like this for a few days which should make that Saturday thing interesting. I’m trying to wrap my brain around dress shoes and it’s honestly fifty/fifty whether I end up leaving the house in keds.

37.  Whatever.

38.  On the plus side we’ve got holiday decorations up so there are cheery things to look at while I’m icing my knee.

39.  On the super plus side our tree’s still standing after almost two weeks of being up. Our chunky monkey has done a bit of climbing in there, too, so it’s an impressive engineering feat by BrightSide.

40.  Here’s hoping you and yours are enjoying a peaceful December with minimal worries and plenty of relaxation. Yes, I know that sounds like a bit of a pipe dream but we shall speak it into existence.