“Even more, if most white people are good, innocent, lovely folks who are just angry or scared or ignorant, it naturally follows that whenever racial tension arises, I must be the problem. I am not kind enough, patient enough, warm enough. I don’t have enough understanding for the white heart, white feelings, white needs. It does not matter that I don’t always feel like teaching white people through my pain, through the disappointment of allies who gave up and colaborers who left. It does not matter that the “well-intentioned” questions hurt my feelings or that the decisions made in all-white meetings affect me differently than they do everyone else. If my feelings do not fit the narrative of white innocence and goodness, the burden of change gets placed on me.”
Austin Channing Brown, I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness
Linda hosts One-Liner Wednesday. Check out her blog for the rules and to see who else is participating this week.
Riddle from the Middle 
Very profound quote.
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It’s such a profound book (and yet somehow easy to read, too).
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People of color have had so much to bear. So damn much. Instead of asking questions of this population, perhaps we need to ensure other white people don’t displace blame or make racially hateful statements (or actions) in our presence without respectfully calling them out. We can educate ourselves to some degree by reading or by finding a person of color who is willing and open to answering our silly questions.
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Agreed. And honestly there’s so much material available now — online resources, speakers, books, etc — we’re fully capable of educating ourselves. I do think there’s value in learning from a person of color. They’ll have insight we’ll never completely grasp by ourselves, but we have no right to demand that labor of them.
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This reminds me of the times when I’ve asked a black woman I know, “What do you want?” For me, it’s one of the steps in assertiveness training to state specifically what you want, even if you have to state it repeatedly. She told me that it’s not her responsibility anymore to answer that question, that white people need to figure it out. I have been somewhat baffled by this response. Your quote, based on experience, brings me a step closer to understanding.
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That was a very honest answer to your question; it’s great she felt safe enough with you to lay the truth out like that. In all honesty this is a big struggle for me when it comes to my daughter, specifically in school. I’ve reached out when problematic things happen but her voice will always carry more authority than mine in this area. Yet the section above taught me that it’s not her responsibility to teach the white people so…I’m still struggling.
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Thank you for recognizing that she felt safe enough to lay the truth out. I had not thought about it like that. The willingness to face our struggles takes courage. Your courage and compassion will go a long way.
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❤
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💛
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A thought provoking quote Laura
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I’m learning quite a lot from this book, Sadje.
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I’m sure you are experiencing what not many have in your skin.
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